im new and nervous lol

[muggybear]

so i should introduce myself,
im Morgan, i dont have diagnosed depression but i know something is wrong and i know exactly what it is because i have watched my mother go thru the same thing a few years ago, she has severe depression and is medicated and on suicide watch most of the time. i am 19 and have had to be the second mum in my family for a long time, i decided that joining this site might help give me the strength to go to my dr and get some professional help i think im just not ready yet, its very scary to me have to admit im not as strong as i pretend to be i feel as though to me after years of having to be a mum, daughter, student, girlfriend, and the pole that held my family together, admitting i need help seems weak in my eyes and i know i shouldn't the logical part of me says i need help but the rest of me is screaming you don't need help u are the one who looks after every1 else, here i feel comfortable, and safe talking to you all i hope that i will get the strength to go and get help. i had my mum say to me when i was 12 that when she drove home from work she would envision driving her into a power pole. ive lived with the knowledge that my mother was so depressed that she could leave her children thank you for listening i needed it, i will continue posting and hopefully i will be able to keep u all posted on my journey
xoxo thank you

[LadyM2008]

PLEASE go to your Doctor. It's not a sign of weakness at all. You need to look after yourself as well as your family.

Your family is obviously imprtant to you and they would not want you to suffer thropugh all of these feelings.

It took me a long time to get together the courage to go to my doctor and get some help and, although I have only just been diagnosed this week, I am sure that it was the best thing that I could have done.

Don't worry about going to the doctor about this. It will help you so much if you do! xxx

[Atrophy]

I agree, you have been doing so much, it's quite amazing!

I was watching the actress who plays liz mcdonald on coronation street when she was on gmtv, and she said depression isn't a illness from weakness but from being strong for too long. I think I agree, by keeping it to yourself and struggling alone it unfortunately just gets worse and keeps piling on until we cannot cope any more. Then it is definitely not weak to ask for help but it is sensible.

hope things improve for you and you get some help.

[TackingIntoTheWind]

Hi (((( muggybear ))))! Welcome to the site!
The first thing that comes to come to my mind while reading your post is that you sooooooo obviously are not weak!!!! You are quite clearly a strong person to be doing all the things that you are doing. But, being strong doesn't mean that you have to cope with everything, including depression, all on your own.
I often think of Winston Churchill, Britain's Prime Minister during World War 2. He was a depressive. He used to say that his depression was like "a black dog " that used to follow him around. But, while he was a depressive, he certainly was not weak!!!! Quite the reverse, he was a pillar of strength in the struggle against Hitler and the Nazis.
So, I would encourage you to seek help with your depression from your doctor, and perhaps from other sources, as and when you feel comfortable doing so. It doesn't mean that you're weak, it just means that you're being sensible. Afterall, you can't take care of other people without taking care of your own health, can you?
Do keep posting, as and when you feel comfortable doing so, and let us know how things are going with you.
Take care!

[Obayan]

Hi. I can relate to how you feel. I have survived so much and I take care of everyone else around me. I'm always the strong one. It felt horrible to admit I needed help. But let me share something with you that I learned the hard way....

Asking for help when you need it is the most responsible thing you can ever do for yourself and for those you care for.

If you want to keep being strong, you have to get healthy. That means physically and mentally. If you have a hard time talking, go someplace you feel safe and write it all out. Give the doc what you wrote. If he don't want to read it just tell him "I took the time to write it out you can at least take the time to read it". It will open so many doors to communication and healing.

I wish you the best and keep us updated.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((( muggybear )))))))))))))

Hi Morgan, and welcome to the forums, more a family than just a forum for posting.

It has taken a lot for you, being the second mother to your family, giving your mother love and understanding as well.

You have taken the first steps, even by just typing here. You see a situation and you are seeking the answers. WTG for you! How strong you really are and you don't see it. With depression it is sometimes easier to just 'go with the flow' but you have this fight in you, go with that!!!

Here we do become family, we care, we support. As you have seen with replies you have received. Keep posting, it does help.

Warmie

[muggybear]

thank you guys for all you said im training to be a nurse and my logical brain is saying its not weak its not being silly or anything its just my own mind that is doing this to me i need to go see someone because i know how much pressure iam under this year and some days i dont know how iam getting out of bed thanks for listening i will keep posting
xo

[darklight32]

Don't worry, you'll become one of us, one of us, yes. jks. Just be open and be you. D.Understood.

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((( muggybear )))))))))))))

What a noble profession you have chosen! To put aside your feelings and fear, to be dedicated to the helping of others, makes me proud to know you.

Seeking help for yourself is a big step, a hard one, but do it you will. The pressures mount and you will find the way to deal with them, control them to the best of your ability.

If venting here helps, they 'vent away'. Here for you...

Warmie