Depression Understood Forums

Part of me doesn't know why I'm doing this but I am so I might as well give it a fair trial. Although in retrospect I had at least one major episode of depression/anxiety/obsessive thinking as a teen, I really came down with depression about four years ago (in my 40's). A relationship ended in a way that was very devastating for me and the pain, aloneness and sadness engulfed me. My partner's mother was undergoing a downward spiral of ill-health at the same time and all attention was turned to dealing with that situation....no one noticed me crying behind sunglasses, or in bed at night. I found myself with no appetite and an inability to get out of the chair - you know that commercial for antidepressants with the little wind-up woman? That is still me, it's still so often an effort to move, but better than it was then. My therapist sent me to a psych to get meds and I've been on Effexor ever since. I have a new, better therapist now and am making progress on many issues but the depression is always there. It's my "invisible friend." I'm looking for better ways to cope with it and with the world, and hoping to find some ideas here.

Thanks.

Welcome and hugs...

I know for me this site has been lifesaver, much like group therapy where i can talk about my problems, vent, get it out to let it go a bit, and get helpful feedback and support. People have been so caring, I am sure you will find the same.

I too went through a break up that was the last straw in series of bad bad things and moderate depression became severe. Something like a break up or your partner's mother's illness may be difficult for almost anyone, but for those of us prone to depression, can be crippling. So I understand a bit where you are coming from.

Good for you for seeking help! Its hard to find a good therapist and glad that you have and are finding the meds useful.

A few things that help me, first, I try to do little things to treat and spoil myself a little...something good to eat or drink like a frozen mocha, hot baths, watching old movies (comforting in their familiarity)...whatever little pleasures you can find in life, indulge as much as reasonably can to comfort yourself...helps me cope moment to moment sometimes.

Second, do you have anything you feel somewhat passionate about? Your work, a hobby, something creative? I used to write it bit and that seemed to give me some sense of purpose and meaning, although haven't been lately. Whether it is writing poetry or taking Karate or a job you like a lot or faith or whatever appeals to you personally.

Third, do you have friends you can socialize with? I know when isolate, I get much worse...hard as it is to socialize I think we are better for it in the long run when we push ourselves to do it. As another person on this site says "Engage the World" even if its just going to a coffee shop with a magazine and sitting with strangers.

Anyway, welcome to the forums! I hope you find the site as helpful as I have.

Like (((( shatteredhopes )))), I've also found this site to be very helpful, and the people on it very helpful and supportive. I've also found this site to be a particularly helpful source of new ideas and viewpoints, as far as managing my own depression and anxiety are concerned. ( If you haven't already found it, you might want to check out Warmsoul's Corner, particularly the quotes and meditations. )
Welcome aboard!

my dear freind i to have an invisible freind i call IT the visitor ,,im 51 and it has been with me since i was seven ,,,is it worth it ,,well i am part of this wonderful family ,and i love each and everyone of them ,my life has never been the same since i came here ,,and i seem to be well loved by those freinds to ,at least i hope so ,,LOL,,,please stay and you will find so much kindness and support ,i still feel overwhelmed each time i log on and see the messages left for me ,,,cant say much more than that can i really ,,hugs (((((ricky))))),,and a very warm welcome to the forum
lots of love ken xxx

Hello friend,
I am new here, just today, so I can't answer your question except to say that I hope it will help you. I've posted in introductions and in my story but have yet to hear from anyone which is just one more thing to be depressed about. LOL Good grief what else will I come up with to be down about. Anyway, it's nice to know you are not alone so I wanted to write to you and say I understand. I too am in my 40's. Anyway, I think just knowing that an actual living breathing person has read your words is helpful. I read your words. Good luck from a fellow traveler.

Welcome to the forum Ricky. I am a 40-something woman too and this site has been a real life line for me. The people here are wonderful and some of them have already responded to you. I hope you are able to get some comfort here as I have.

ricky, as my dad said, you will get out of it what you put into it, and you have put a lot into it so far. i was 38 when i first got help. two bad marriages over 21 years, and trying to raise a child when the ex took his sister from him. i wandered acciently into this site over a year ago, and found so many warm and caring people here. when you feel comfy about it, let loose the past in here. if you think your post might be triggery, just put a warning lable "May Trigger" in the title so everyone will know. hugs, you have friends here