Howdy
Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
Howdy
Well, I have been here over a year now,and I have finally decided to join in the forums. I am Living currently in Ventura, about 45 minutes from LA (Los Angeles). I am preparing to move once again, this time to Louisiana where I am starting a new life. In my life journey so far, I have moved so many times and places that I have begun to hav difficulty remembering them all at once. Sometimes I think tht is for the best. Be that as it may be, I came here to DU accidently, while searching for a different depressiuon chat room that I had freinds in well over ten years ago. I wandered into DU, was welcomed warmly, and I stopped looking for my old freinds. I had found a new family. I had lost my wife after 18 months of marriage (she was 27) 3 and a half years before arriving in DU, and I was hurting very badly, and about to do the ultimate self=injury (SI). The DU family gave me encouragelment, never remarked about my dyslexicd issues (though later on one chatter told me privately that they thought I was drunk). I got my head back together, and decided to stay and see if I could help others as DU has helped me. My depression, being the first fully-documented DID (dissiciative identity disorder which is NOT the same as MPD), and living a half-century already, and also being ex-military gave me an insight into a lot of problems I saw others having. I made the decision to stay and help others if at all possible. I was raised color-blind, and taught to be tolerant of all others beliefs and life-styles. I have many interests, one of which is computers. OK, electronics of any kind are new toys for me, but computers opened up a whole new world. I made the decision to dedicate a computer to the DU room, and only on very rare exceptions, the room is on that computer 24/7. That is all that computer does, having the DU chjat room on it. Why? I lurk, go in the room to chat, and occasionally if I can't sleep or am working on something else, I watch the room. It's klinda like a high-tech nightlight, a comfort for me to know DU is always there when I need it. I'm always open to making new friends, and new family, so next time you come to DU, introduce yourself. Say hi. I will.
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starrynight
- Posts: 4
- Joined: Tue Apr 20, 2010 12:02 am
Hi Peep,
I'm pretty new hear and am glad you posted. I have found this a very helpful place to be. Your post was really interesting, and if you feel like it, I for one would like to know a bit more about DID. Just a simple explanation would be fine, but only if it's in your comfort zone to explain.
I have lived in CA and I think it's not a great place to be depressed in. We moved to the Southeast years ago and I have found it a much more comfortable place to be with my particular problems, so maybe you'll find the same thing in Louisiana.
Take care and thanks for posting.
Wonder
I'm pretty new hear and am glad you posted. I have found this a very helpful place to be. Your post was really interesting, and if you feel like it, I for one would like to know a bit more about DID. Just a simple explanation would be fine, but only if it's in your comfort zone to explain.
I have lived in CA and I think it's not a great place to be depressed in. We moved to the Southeast years ago and I have found it a much more comfortable place to be with my particular problems, so maybe you'll find the same thing in Louisiana.
Take care and thanks for posting.
Wonder
Hi Peep - welcome to the forum side of things. I am sure you will make lots of friends over here as well. There are many caring and supportive folks here that have helped me a great deal. I have tried the chat but never really felt part of things there. Everyone else seemed to know everyone so I am sticking to the forum now but I hope to see you here again.
if you feel like it, I for one would like to know a bit more about DID.
I would be morethan happy to talk to you or anyone on DID. If you have read the book or seen the movie "Sybil" you have seen one of the most famous of MPD cases. DID is similar, but instead of having several -persons- inside the same brain and body that are normally unaware of each other, DIDs are all the same person, usually split into an age and/or emotional -personality-. For instance, my -little side, a 4 y/o kid with wetting problems but a fun-loving kid and very playful was still me, just emotionally arrested at that age/emotional stage. My -teen- me was the Protector, the justice dealer, and very dangerous. That part of me was very confrontational, and very mean. That part of me nearly hospitlaized several people in my years before integration. My TP (therapist; i say TP cuz therapist to my -sydlexic- brain loooks like the rapist) actually asked me to let that part of me loose to speak with her directly. I immedialtely told her that was an extremely unsafe thing to do, and I honestly was concerned for her safety if she pissed off that part of me. I had been known to put my hands through cinderblock walls without a scratch on me. The thing is the two parts of me were still me, just acting on their own for the whole -community- of me. When the -core- me was not able to handle a stiuation, one of my alters would jump in and take over until I felt able to regain myselfr and be back in control. My -little- me go me in more trouble thanthe vioplent teen side did too. Being DID, let alone KNOWING or being diagnosed as being DID is a really rough time for most I have found. I have a good friend in the chatroom that had shown some traits of being DID, and was wondering why certain events happened and that person did not recall them. After talking to my friend for a while, I suggested they might be DID. That took my friend by shock, and after a few weeks of getting used to the idea (and doing their own research into DID), they tentively began to ask more questions. During this period, most DIDs seem to try to hide the fact they might be, and even after being DX'x (diagnosed) as being DID. There is usually a period of adjustment, the time being each person's own pace. Then there is the period of diswcovfering how many of you their are, and getting to know your selfs (I should warn you, when discussinjg DID english gets butchered very badly, especially in the verbs and pronouns area). I haven't done a poll, but every other DID I've met seems to also label their selfs just to keep track of which self is talking/communicating. My friend in DU came up with a brilliant idea to make a personal blog and let their selfs choose the color and font they liked to distinguish each other. Being the first fully-documented DID has opened my eyes to others, and how they react and cope, and in some cases try to camoflage thier other selfs when dealing with -normal- people (aka the norms). I hjave found most tend ot have trust issues, eitehr from the fact they are hiding thier DID, or very possibily the DID condition is a result of a trauma that caused mistrust of people in the frirst place (suchas physical harm at a crtitical stage of delveloopment). Geeze, you asked for a -little bit- about DID, and I write a book back. Sorry bout that
I would be morethan happy to talk to you or anyone on DID. If you have read the book or seen the movie "Sybil" you have seen one of the most famous of MPD cases. DID is similar, but instead of having several -persons- inside the same brain and body that are normally unaware of each other, DIDs are all the same person, usually split into an age and/or emotional -personality-. For instance, my -little side, a 4 y/o kid with wetting problems but a fun-loving kid and very playful was still me, just emotionally arrested at that age/emotional stage. My -teen- me was the Protector, the justice dealer, and very dangerous. That part of me was very confrontational, and very mean. That part of me nearly hospitlaized several people in my years before integration. My TP (therapist; i say TP cuz therapist to my -sydlexic- brain loooks like the rapist) actually asked me to let that part of me loose to speak with her directly. I immedialtely told her that was an extremely unsafe thing to do, and I honestly was concerned for her safety if she pissed off that part of me. I had been known to put my hands through cinderblock walls without a scratch on me. The thing is the two parts of me were still me, just acting on their own for the whole -community- of me. When the -core- me was not able to handle a stiuation, one of my alters would jump in and take over until I felt able to regain myselfr and be back in control. My -little- me go me in more trouble thanthe vioplent teen side did too. Being DID, let alone KNOWING or being diagnosed as being DID is a really rough time for most I have found. I have a good friend in the chatroom that had shown some traits of being DID, and was wondering why certain events happened and that person did not recall them. After talking to my friend for a while, I suggested they might be DID. That took my friend by shock, and after a few weeks of getting used to the idea (and doing their own research into DID), they tentively began to ask more questions. During this period, most DIDs seem to try to hide the fact they might be, and even after being DX'x (diagnosed) as being DID. There is usually a period of adjustment, the time being each person's own pace. Then there is the period of diswcovfering how many of you their are, and getting to know your selfs (I should warn you, when discussinjg DID english gets butchered very badly, especially in the verbs and pronouns area). I haven't done a poll, but every other DID I've met seems to also label their selfs just to keep track of which self is talking/communicating. My friend in DU came up with a brilliant idea to make a personal blog and let their selfs choose the color and font they liked to distinguish each other. Being the first fully-documented DID has opened my eyes to others, and how they react and cope, and in some cases try to camoflage thier other selfs when dealing with -normal- people (aka the norms). I hjave found most tend ot have trust issues, eitehr from the fact they are hiding thier DID, or very possibily the DID condition is a result of a trauma that caused mistrust of people in the frirst place (suchas physical harm at a crtitical stage of delveloopment). Geeze, you asked for a -little bit- about DID, and I write a book back. Sorry bout that
Mich wrote:Hi Peep - welcome to the forum side of things. I am sure you will make lots of friends over here as well. There are many caring and supportive folks here that have helped me a great deal. I have tried the chat but never really felt part of things there. Everyone else seemed to know everyone so I am sticking to the forum now but I hope to see you here again.
Sorry the chatroom didn't work out the way you thought it would. After a while you DO tend to know everyone, but we were all new once. Anyway, thanks for the welcome; I will be coming in here a lot more now
Thank you, Peep, for explaining DID. I was curious because I have something similar or maybe a mild case of it. At the time my therapist figured it out (about 15 years ago) I don't think it was as clearly understood as now. She just defined it as having splits in my personality that somehow became separate from me - I am always conscious of what the separate entities are doing/saying, although they surprise me because they act separately. Many times they have been very helpful, sometimes not. As time has passed, they exhibit themselves less and less, because I think they are in a long process of integrating with my core being. Also, my core being has learned alot from the helpful ones, so it is not necessary for them to express themselves as often. Sometimes I ask for their help, so there are fewer times when they just "show up," although this does still happen.
Anyway, thank for enlightening me. One of the many ways I am learning from this site . . .
Wonder
Anyway, thank for enlightening me. One of the many ways I am learning from this site . . .
Wonder
Sorry for taking so long to get back to you wonder. 15 years ago DID was a non-existing condition to most people. It was 13 years ago that my TP found me and we went from there. I was quite literally the poster child for DID. If your selfs have been helpful, this is definitely a good thing, and as the yare no longer needed to perrformtheir -jobs-, then tend to integrate on their own. NEVER try to force an integration, as the results will be disastrous. My TP noticed that I was forcin my alters into a fusion, and while it worked for a little while. it surely burned up a lot of energy. My TP had me release them and let them out and interact again. My alters got even with me for that stunt; they took turns taking over the body while i -watched-. It's not a good idea, trust me. Are you still seeking a doctor's care about your alters/splits? Since DID is becoming more and more recognized as a very real condition (illness just doesn't seem to fit here), more cases are showing up, and the newest and altest treatment ideas are available to you now. Hugs
Thanks, Peeps. Yes, I sometimes consider going to therapy again, because I realize alot has probably happened in the field since I last went. I am very tired, though, as I have fibromyalgia as well as depression, and right now I don't have the energy for much. I have been lucky in that I've never tried to force myself to integrate although I haven't done a really good job at nurturing all the different parts of me that sometimes ask for help - something I still struggle with, but am working at. Anyway, thanks again for your reply and all the information.
Wonder
Wonder
ugh, fibro. i wouldnt wish taht on my wost enemy. i hated it when i had it (yes, somehow it has magically disappeared), as there were times i didnt even want anyone to touch me or even go out into the sunlight because the pain was that severe.
from what yo udescribed about your condition, i would have to agree that you are likely DID. Oddly enough, your alters seem to do what mine have done, from getting me into trouble to getting me out of it to integrating on their own. my protector/dangerous/teen me exsplained that i no longer needed them, so they went away so to speak. i still dont have all their memories, and my TP told me a long time ago i might never get them back, but to not worry about it. may taht are in the process of integrating come to the same point eventually, and that is the alter not wanting to integrate because they feel like they are going to die. you have to reassure your selfs (ok, so i love butchering english:P) that they are not going to die, but become more a part of you than they are now. it's hard being DID too, and making and keeping friends even more so. but, let me tell you this; having gone through it, from the splits to getting me put back together, i learned a great deal about me, and that alone wa s a huge step for me. it does get better tho..hugs
from what yo udescribed about your condition, i would have to agree that you are likely DID. Oddly enough, your alters seem to do what mine have done, from getting me into trouble to getting me out of it to integrating on their own. my protector/dangerous/teen me exsplained that i no longer needed them, so they went away so to speak. i still dont have all their memories, and my TP told me a long time ago i might never get them back, but to not worry about it. may taht are in the process of integrating come to the same point eventually, and that is the alter not wanting to integrate because they feel like they are going to die. you have to reassure your selfs (ok, so i love butchering english:P) that they are not going to die, but become more a part of you than they are now. it's hard being DID too, and making and keeping friends even more so. but, let me tell you this; having gone through it, from the splits to getting me put back together, i learned a great deal about me, and that alone wa s a huge step for me. it does get better tho..hugs
hey peep whats up... im just browsing the forums hangin with my friends they are shooting zombies i wish i could but i dont have enough money to buy the game 
... any way was just readin about you and how you like electronics and stuff.. me too.. i alway have to fix stuff around the house if it computers... my eyes hurt right now i think ive been staring at the computer screen too much... thats cool you are moving good luck bro.. id help if i could 
... any way was just readin about you and how you like electronics and stuff.. me too.. i alway have to fix stuff around the house if it computers... my eyes hurt right now i think ive been staring at the computer screen too much... thats cool you are moving good luck bro.. id help if i could Return to “New Member Introductions”
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