Do not know what to do

[bamajilly]

My name is Jill and I do not know what to do anymore. I have become somebody I do not know and do not kow how to get me back.

[TackingIntoTheWind]

Hi (((( Jill )))).
As far as your post is concerned, I'd have to say that it applies to you and me both!
You do not say a lot about yourself, and I MOST CERTAINLY do not have all the answers even about my own anxiety and depression, so I'm not really sure what to say that would be helpful.
So, I'll give you a bit of background about moi...
In June last year my anxiety and depression ( That I had had for a very long time, but hadn't really acknowledged or addressed ) led me to really " crash and burn ". to the point where I was off work for about five months, due to those factors and the effects of a previously-undiagnosed inherited genetic blood disorder. I was isolating myself, and experiencing suicidal urges, due to severe depression and extreme anxiety.
But, with a lot of help and imput from the local NHS mental health services, I'm back at work and sane(ish), well I can fake sane(ish), most days anyway.........
Although, I'm still working on sorting out my life and managing my mental and physical health issues, I'm still " in the game ", and back at work, with at least some hope of finding something to do with my life other than ending it in fear and despair.
When I first met the consultant psychiatrist who had oversight of my case, I was in such despair that I asked him if it was even possible to recover from how physically and emotionally low I felt.
He said, yes, I could recover, and he also said two things that I've always remembered and have helped me a great deal.

1. Recovery was 90% motivation and 10% what he could do for me. If I made up my mid to recover and engaged with the help that was out there for me, then I could recover.
2. Recovery was about making SMALL, GRADUAL changes to my life, not about great leaps or quick fixes.

The fact that you've posted indicates to me that you are motivated to recover and reclaim your life, and by wading your way through my rather dense prose you've made a start on this site!

I'm sure that if you read the posts on this site you'll find a lot of help, advice and insights that will be of value to you. ( In particular, check out the quotes/thoughts/meditations on Warmsoul's corner, I find them really helpful when it comes to having a more positive and mindful world view. )

Also feel free to post more about yourself, or not, as you feel may be comfortable and appropriate for yourself.

Welcome aboard!!!!