Depression Understood Forums

Hey I'm new to this and i know ya'll will probably read this and think it's nothing to be depressed about. A few years ago me and my girlfriend was out on a date. Her ex walks up and shoved her on the ground. Being the protective boyfriend i punched him. I don't remember much about the fight but i woke up in a puddle of my own blood. My girlfriend broke up with me right there in front of everyone. I was humiliated because of the loss and then this. I feel like I'm incapable of defending myself the ones i love and it's been eating away at me for so long. I just can't handle it anymore. I don't know what to do. My parents refuse to believe that I have a problem. Any advice would be helpful.

First off, do not feel bad for what happened as you did nothing wrong in fact you did everything right. Although your gf may not have deserved such a gesture as she deserted you after taking a bullet for her, you did protect her and prevented her from being a victim of any further harm. You should be proud of yourself for standing up. Her breaking up with you says to me that she didn't deserve you in the first place. I had a brutal gf once who embarrassed me in a similar way and the exercise that worked for me was to make her no longer exist in my world. I am not saying doing anything crazy, just simply in your mind make her no longer exist and shake her away like an etch-a-sketch. Move on and consider it a blessing as I am sure you are meant to be with someone way better as noble as you seem.

Next the fight, well it could be as simple as taking some self defense courses or going to the gym. You will likely not need the skills for the real world as fights rarely occur unless you're looking for them. However, it will boost your confidence and make you no longer insecure about protecting those you love in case a freak occurrence does happen again.

I know that situation was traumatizing and good for you to look into putting it behind you. I am sure there is nothing wrong with you and in fact the opposite there is a lot right and should be more people like you out there.

Hi Diabolus1243,

I agree with forgotten, you did what you felt was right. You protected without thinking about it. Personally, I would have been appreciative, but then I would have pressed charges against that person.

A self defense course is a good thought, as forgotten suggested. Talk with your parents and ask if this would be possible. Self defense is taught to children at young ages, even with the younger ones just learning how to scream very very loud.

Warmie

I am so sorry that happened to you. She should have recognized you as a hero...you took a beating for her in trying to protect her, and likely if you hadn't stepped in, who knows what he would have done to her, but he turned his attention to you...I know from personal experience, when someone you love or care deeply for acts in a way opposite of what they should, cruelly in fact, it hurts...I'm sure the hurt of the horrible way she reacted compounded a bad situation.

I used to do martial arts...earned a number of belts, placed in a sparing contest, and its very empowering. There isn't as much physical contact in the painful sense like boxing, in some sports you earn points in sparring just for penetrating defenses with a tap...you learn a lot of self defense techniques and gain physical strength. Its fun! Some martial arts disciplines focus on the mind too, meditation and focus...maybe beyond self defense classes working toward earning belts and breaking boards with a swift kick or strike of the hand, and becoming adept in a sport like Karate or Tae Kwon Do might be a very healing, confidence building thing.

Sorry your girlfriend did that lousy thing to you. The others are right, you deserve much, much better. Speaking as someone who was once in a violently abusive relationship, to me, you are absolutely a HERO.