Depression Understood Forums

I am 38 yo female. Never officially "diagnosed" been on and off anti-depressant meds for several years. Always seemed to be attributed to some life situation at the time and prescribe by what ever Dr. I was seeing at the time.

I have decided that this is a lifelong issue and don't know how to handle it.

I live in a rural area and specialist and well trained psychiatrist are few and far between. I have never been to a psy. I went to a counselor on the advice of my pastor in 2007. I would have to say my stress level then was at an all time high. We worked through some things and I felt some ease. My job was still extremely stressful and then I got laid off (small town political thing). I felt wonderful for a couple months. Found a pt job turned ft about 3 months later. Symptoms began worsening. On prestiq now. Upped dose about 2 weeks ago.

Sorry this is a rambling intro, I just want to feel better and don't know what to do. This is affecting every area of my life. I can not even be motivated to work while I am at work. I played freecell for a couple hours total yesterday. I have NEVER done that before. I don't want to be here I just want to be left alone and no one bother me.

I will go for now - I guess I am hoping for some direction. I am not very good at opening up to people face to face and when I do I just feel like I am whining and sound like a hypocondriate (sp?) and no one wants to be around me because all I talk about is how bad I feel.

-B-

notsure,

I am glad that you decided to post. It is a tough time to sit down at a blank screen and try to tell the entire group, your entire life story in 200 words or less.

It isn't whining when you let us know what is going on in your life. It just gives us the chance to know you better.

It usually seems to let things out a bit at a time but sometimes it just all comes out in a gush. Like things that you have been holding on inside, for a lot of years, and you have finally found a safe place to let them out. We have read a lot of things in here, and I don't think that anyone has every been judged. Just tried to throw out some ideas to help them out.

You don't have to follow the topics very long to find out who they are (if you look at the number of my posts you can certainly see that I have lot on my mind). I guess that I am quite prolific

This seems to be the great thing about this forum. We are all in the same boat. We don't all have ups at the same time, or downs at the same times. It means that those who need a little prop up can lean on those of us that our doing better at the time. Everyone gets a turn to either help or be helped.

Didn't mean for this go on for so long.

After midnight here go hope you either slept, or are sleeping well.