Feeling old
Posted: Tue Apr 13, 2021 7:12 pm
Hello,
Today I'm here because I'm feeling old. I am old I suppose. I remember being able to just go out somewhere and being able to meet people and make friends and even get a date or two. Now everything is online and I feel like I'm never going to catch up.
I tried one of those dating sites, but I have to say, I'm worried. I'm not ever going to be a skinny model. I have missing teeth and some health problems. But I shower every day and look nice enough. People describe me as cute, but I feel like they're being nice. I'm sort of plain really, and round. And all I saw on that dating site is all these guys wanting specific things. People that like to hike and be athletic. People that are beautiful and sophisticated. And I think to myself, I'll never be those things. I'm not going to pretend to be someone else.
So I put up my profile on the dating site, but it still feels like when I put up my resume a job site. The recruiters like what they see on paper (or on computer in this case) and set up an interview with me. That's basically as far as it goes. Each recruiter is nice to me, very polite. They ask me all the questions they're supposed to ask. But I can see it in their eyes. I'm not going to get hired. They're not going to call me the next day and tell me that I'm the one for the job.
I kind of feel like maybe that's how the dating site dates will go. I'll get a message because some guy will like what he read about me or my personality or whatever. Then we'll go have a nice socially distanced coffee somewhere and we'll talk and everything will seem fine. But there will be no call asking for a second date. There will be no late night talks on the phone. Nobody will cuddle with me while we watch some movie or talk.
I'm sorry to sound self pitying. I don't know how else to sound. I was with my husband for a long time. Now that he's passed away, I've had time to realize that I don't really have any friends. There was nobody I was close with because my husband was my best friend. Plus there are other factors I have to consider in my life so I just don't see how I'm going to meet anyone let alone make any friends right now. I guess I'm just going to have to live with being lonely now.
Anyway, thanks for reading this. I have a 21 year old daughter and two cats. We live in a city which is nice because we can explore and go for walks. Take care everyone.
Today I'm here because I'm feeling old. I am old I suppose. I remember being able to just go out somewhere and being able to meet people and make friends and even get a date or two. Now everything is online and I feel like I'm never going to catch up.
I tried one of those dating sites, but I have to say, I'm worried. I'm not ever going to be a skinny model. I have missing teeth and some health problems. But I shower every day and look nice enough. People describe me as cute, but I feel like they're being nice. I'm sort of plain really, and round. And all I saw on that dating site is all these guys wanting specific things. People that like to hike and be athletic. People that are beautiful and sophisticated. And I think to myself, I'll never be those things. I'm not going to pretend to be someone else.
So I put up my profile on the dating site, but it still feels like when I put up my resume a job site. The recruiters like what they see on paper (or on computer in this case) and set up an interview with me. That's basically as far as it goes. Each recruiter is nice to me, very polite. They ask me all the questions they're supposed to ask. But I can see it in their eyes. I'm not going to get hired. They're not going to call me the next day and tell me that I'm the one for the job.
I kind of feel like maybe that's how the dating site dates will go. I'll get a message because some guy will like what he read about me or my personality or whatever. Then we'll go have a nice socially distanced coffee somewhere and we'll talk and everything will seem fine. But there will be no call asking for a second date. There will be no late night talks on the phone. Nobody will cuddle with me while we watch some movie or talk.
I'm sorry to sound self pitying. I don't know how else to sound. I was with my husband for a long time. Now that he's passed away, I've had time to realize that I don't really have any friends. There was nobody I was close with because my husband was my best friend. Plus there are other factors I have to consider in my life so I just don't see how I'm going to meet anyone let alone make any friends right now. I guess I'm just going to have to live with being lonely now.
Anyway, thanks for reading this. I have a 21 year old daughter and two cats. We live in a city which is nice because we can explore and go for walks. Take care everyone.