completely hopeless

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Joined: Fri Apr 02, 2021 5:09 am

completely hopeless

Postby klynn9 » Fri Apr 02, 2021 5:32 am

hi, I’m new here. I truly feel like I have nobody to talk to, i feel so lonely even when i’m not alone. i guess i just needed somewhere to vent if that’s ok. i’m so anxious all the time, and very depressed. i can’t sleep because my mind is always going a million miles a minute, and it’s always about something terrible. lately i’m terrified that one of my family members is going to pass away unexpectedly, and just writing that down makes me think i’m somehow putting it out into the universe and jinxing it or something. i’ve been diagnosed with ocd and bipolar disorder. i have a psychiatrist who i’ve seen for at least two years and whenever i made any sort of progress everything ends up falling apart and i’m back at square one. so it feels like i’ve wasted so many years making no progress, just wasting money and time. my anxiety has gotten worse ever since june last year when i was hit by a semi track in my small car, which was totaled. i wasn’t seriously injured but feel completely traumatized to the point i’m afraid to drive most of the time. people think i’m overreacting and maybe i am, i don’t know. it took me 8 years to graduate from college and now that i have my degree i realize how useless the subject i’ve chosen is, and how little actual work experience i have. i’m 26 with no job and feel like a complete and total failure. i feel like i have absolutely no purpose. i used to be suicidal and attempted suicide before, but i am not anymore. i’m too afraid of death and what comes after it. i’m extremely sensitive, to a fault. i take everything personally, i can’t handle criticism, and i’m afraid maybe it’s too late for me to learn how now. the inside of my head is never quiet, i feel completely exhausted from the intrusive thoughts, especially at night. i don’t feel like i have anyone in my life who understands how i’m feeling, or even wants to try. i want to scream from the rooftops that i’m not doing well and i don’t feel like anyone cares just to see if someone does. but what if my cries for help are ignored, which i feel like they would be. i just feel stuck, without purpose, no direction in life, completely and utterly hopeless. i’m sorry this is so long, and thank you to anyone who read it

Posts: 6
Joined: Sun Mar 28, 2021 11:17 am

Re: completely hopeless

Postby PaulaR1 » Sun Apr 04, 2021 2:06 am

Klynn9, I hear that you are suffering, and I wish I could take away your pain, fear, and anxiety. I, too, became extremely anxious to drive after I wrecked my car (the accident was determined to be my fault). Try to be gracious with yourself and know that someone does care about you (cause I do!).

Posts: 114
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2017 2:04 am

Re: completely hopeless

Postby CamGirl » Wed Apr 07, 2021 7:52 pm

Hey there. Hope you doing ok. It's really hard to deal with all these things, and sometimes, no one close to us can understand how difficult it is and we don't want to bother them with it, so we just keep the darkness inside us. Right now, all I can say is vent here as much and often as you like. The burden is somewhat lifted in a way, and we're here to listen. I hope to hear from you again. Wishing you well.

Posts: 31
Joined: Tue Mar 24, 2020 5:19 am

Re: completely hopeless

Postby fummymeasle » Mon Apr 19, 2021 5:47 am

Hi. Welcome to the forum. Haven't been active lately but I've been here for a while and all I can is this is a place to pour yourself out without the fear of being judged. Hope you feel okay.

Posts: 5
Joined: Mon Apr 19, 2021 9:17 pm

Re: completely hopeless

Postby ocean » Mon Apr 19, 2021 9:33 pm

hey girl, hope ur doing fine. I would never say your overacting, everyone goes thru situation their life time. It your feeling and your emotions never say that luv. You are going thru some really situations in your life and nobody will never understand unless their place in your situation. I’m no professional i’m just here to help but what i’ll suggest is find ( ik it’s hard) but just find any time of activity, sport, leisure or even someone that can take away your thoughts and such.

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