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Zar31415
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2020 3:38 pm
Location: Germany

Help

Postby Zar31415 » Sun Aug 23, 2020 3:44 pm

Ok so I have two friends(Let's call them A(guy) and B(girl). I know them both for about 8 years. They are a couple for 6 years now. So I recently told them I'm gay(I'm a guy) and for about four months I'm in a bad mood every day because I have a huge crush on A. Normally I would hide it and get over it but I have no damm clue if he's sending signals or not. F.ex Me, A, B and another friend want to make a tripto Prague and we booked 3 beds(One for me, one for the other friend and one for A and B) and A said infront of B to me that he's gonna sneak up to me at night to cuddle with me. And that's just an example, , there are many situations like that but I have no clue if he's joking or not. I really don't want to ruin the good friendship to A and B but on the other hand I don't know if A is interested in me or not. I know there are far more serious problems in life but I'm really desperate about it and I'd be happy for any help.

useranonymous
Posts: 60
Joined: Mon Jul 06, 2020 1:11 pm

Re: Help

Postby useranonymous » Wed Aug 26, 2020 1:31 pm

That's a really difficult one. My husband and his best friend joke with eachother for a laugh they are going to run away together or pretend to pat each others buns, but I definitely know they are not gay.

But since you say that guy A has started to making jokey remarks aimed towards your sexuality it could mean two things. 1: he is interested or 2: he is joking about like what my husband does with his mates and maybe he now feels this is appropriate just because you have said your gay and he's not thinking about your feelings.

Does he seem like the type that would stray from his girlfriend and is he hiding anything about himself? It's hard to tell with this situation as he is with a girl.

Have you tried making jokey remarks back at him to see how he reacts? You may not want to, i understand it may not be something you want to do as he is your friend who is taken. A guys reaction will be pretty clear if he's not interested in another guy and you might just sense some kind of vibe to give you a clue

Also when you make a jokey remark back try to have a quick peek at his girlfriend's reaction. She may know something about him you don't?

Sorry I'm not much help. Good luck x

Zar31415
Posts: 2
Joined: Sun Aug 23, 2020 3:38 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Help

Postby Zar31415 » Wed Aug 26, 2020 2:55 pm

I can't tell if he's the type to stray from his girlfriend, it is their first real relationship after all. But they seem to have a lot of arguments about unnecessary things. Sometimes I joke back if I'm in a really good mood but most of the time I just play it off and don't respond to it because it is kinda uncomfortable for me. The problem is I think I'm sensing some kind of vibes but I can't tell if they are just in my imagination or not. But thanks for the tip "Also when you make a jokey remark back try to have a quick peek at his girlfriend's reaction. She may know something about him you don't?". It may be a good reference point to get some clues. And of course you're helping, any piece of advice is helpful in my situation

useranonymous
Posts: 60
Joined: Mon Jul 06, 2020 1:11 pm

Re: Help

Postby useranonymous » Thu Aug 27, 2020 1:41 am

Zar31415 wrote:I can't tell if he's the type to stray from his girlfriend, it is their first real relationship after all. But they seem to have a lot of arguments about unnecessary things. Sometimes I joke back if I'm in a really good mood but most of the time I just play it off and don't respond to it because it is kinda uncomfortable for me. The problem is I think I'm sensing some kind of vibes but I can't tell if they are just in my imagination or not. But thanks for the tip "Also when you make a jokey remark back try to have a quick peek at his girlfriend's reaction. She may know something about him you don't?". It may be a good reference point to get some clues. And of course you're helping, any piece of advice is helpful in my situation


I also thought have you thought about speaking to him and saying it makes you feel uncomfortable the things he is saying? It might make him really think about why he's doing it. Although I understand this would be a difficult step to take. It would just be finding a way to do it without giving away how you are feeling. It's such a difficult one. It also makes me wonder if he's interested in you as you play off his comments sometimes but he continues to say these things. Can he sense how he makes you feel when he says things to you? If he's interested he might be looking for clues.

You could also try outright asking him 'do you fancy me' (as a joke)after he says something. If he gets over defensive it's either because you caught him out or he will stop doing it


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