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kuroihitsuji
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2020 8:48 pm

Hello

Postby kuroihitsuji » Tue Jun 09, 2020 9:05 pm

Uhm, this is a last resort kind of thing, I wanted to vent anonymously a little.

I've been contemplating to end my life a lot, I'm a teenage boy and I know this'll sound dramatic for my age but I'm dealing with a lot at the moment; I don't want to go, actually, but I feel there's no place for me here either. There's always a contant discourse over who and what I am (as I am LGBT), and no one I can trust with these worries without feeling annoying. I wish I had a voice and determination... to let people know what I actually thing and how I don't agree with what they say about me and my communities...

I'm so tired.

I read the post before this one, I read how she's been battling stuff for 17 years while here I am, 17 and complaining about 6 years of literal youth that have been taken from me due trauma, depression and anxiety. I just wish I were stronger, or that I could have someone I could lean on. I've tried everything on the list--therapy, medication, friends & family, art, spiritual stuff, even, none of which have worked for me. There's only two people keeping me grounded at the moment, my sister and best friend. I owe them a lot. Yet they'd be so much better off without a burden like me.

Thank you for this space.

yomii
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jun 18, 2020 11:04 am

Re: Hello

Postby yomii » Thu Jun 18, 2020 11:45 am

Hello, I hope this reply doesn't bother you. I just want to say, it's okay to be young and have a lot of things in your mind. I think a lot of people start to have depression since they were a teenager too, so don't blame yourself for that. I get that feeling of being unaccepted, actually my family is really a conservative and religious one, even though I myself is someone who actually opposed most of their opinions. So I get that whole 'constant discourse' thing, it must've been very annoying for your side, sometimes parents really need to stop judging about who their kid wants to be, so don't let them makes you feel like you are unaccepted, you are who you are, and there's nothing wrong with that. It took a long time for my parents to accept me (I don't even think they fully do right now!), I would make a talk about me having a girlfriend instead of boyfriend, and they would have this scared face like its the end of the world lol. At first I hated it, why would they opposed it so much? But as time pass by, I don't even care what they think of me, I would dress like how I want to, like whoever I like, and just be me, if you're not gonna accept me, at least I still have myself. You are valid, don't let other say otherwise, be proud of yourself even though they said the opposite thing. If you're still afraid to speak up, then I suggested you took a little more time to prepare the courage for it! I'm sure you'll get the perfect time soon (since I myself hasn't got one, I wish us for the best!). If people around you don't accept you for who you are, I'm sure there are lots of people out there who would, please hang in there! I'm really glad you're able to speak up about this. You must've felt a lot of pressure, it's okay to vent!

P.S : Thank you for the song recommendation in your other post, they're actually really nice! Amazarashi also made lots of song similar to your post, maybe you'll like it too!
I'm sorry for this troublesome reply! I hope I didn't make any mistake in my words that makes you feel worse.


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