Lost and alone

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InstantBroccoli
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed May 27, 2020 7:05 pm
Location: Hertfordshire

Lost and alone

Postby InstantBroccoli » Wed May 27, 2020 7:16 pm

After finding out my husband cheated on me, he's now come out as gay and said he was never in love with me (we were together almost 10 years and he'd always been the one pushing for things to get more serious- marriage babies etc). I just feel completely blown down and I don't know how to even process all this.

I've struggled with depression and anxiety since I can remember, and I've been on medication for it since I was 18 but this has made me take a HUGE step back. I feel like everything I've ever known was a lie and I don't know how to move on. I'm only 24 so almost half my life I've spent with this man telling me he loves me every single day, just for him to turn around now and say it wasn't real?

I just don't know where to start in healing. He said he's known that he was gay for ages and had been planning to leave me for the last 2 months or so, so he's already over it and it's hard to see. It's left me feeling rushed, like I should be ok with it too and just be able to pick up and move on straight away.

I don't even know how to begin, I feel so lost and stuck and I don't see any way out. I love this man with my whole heart and he's hurt me in the worst way- how do i cope with the stress of my whole life changing and how can I ever trust someone again?

I just need someone to talk to who can understand or help me make sense of what's happened

I just don't know what to do

littlestarsmum
Posts: 101
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: Lost and alone

Postby littlestarsmum » Thu May 28, 2020 6:29 am

I’m so sorry to hear that, friend. My heart goes out to you. Situation like yours is so difficult and I know how painful and devastating it must be for you. Have you considered talking to a counselor? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His comfort and provide the wisdom and help you need at this time. Please know that this is a great place to share and you’re not alone here. I know it’s not easy right now, but stay strong. I’m here to support you. Sending hugs & prayers your way.

InstantBroccoli
Posts: 2
Joined: Wed May 27, 2020 7:05 pm
Location: Hertfordshire

Re: Lost and alone

Postby InstantBroccoli » Thu May 28, 2020 7:25 pm

littlestarsmum wrote:I’m so sorry to hear that, friend. My heart goes out to you. Situation like yours is so difficult and I know how painful and devastating it must be for you. Have you considered talking to a counselor? Do you think that's something that might be helpful for you personally? I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His comfort and provide the wisdom and help you need at this time. Please know that this is a great place to share and you’re not alone here. I know it’s not easy right now, but stay strong. I’m here to support you. Sending hugs & prayers your way.



Thank you, that brings a lot of comfort to me, just knowing that someone cares. I think that counselling would help me, but I'm not sure how to access such a service during the current pandemic. Especially as my doctors surgery aren't taking appointments and I can't afford to pay for it since I've got to move out etc now :(

Thank you for your support, it really means a lot to me

jimmyellis166
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Jun 01, 2020 2:21 am

Re: Lost and alone

Postby jimmyellis166 » Mon Jun 01, 2020 2:26 am

I am really amazed that after spending almost a decade with you he is telling you that he was never in love with you that is really depressing, i hope you can find strength with in your loved ones.

littlestarsmum
Posts: 101
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: Lost and alone

Postby littlestarsmum » Mon Jun 01, 2020 3:28 am

It’s good you reached out for help here, friend. We all go through our own struggles, and it’s important to have supportive people. It gives so much relief when we share our problems with good listeners. If you’re in the U.S., you may try calling Focus on the Family. I know that they can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. Otherwise, try online for counselors near your area. I hope everything goes well with you. Take good care of yourself. It’s my prayer that God’s comfort and peace be real to you at this time. Hugs.

Prycejosh1987
Posts: 369
Joined: Sun May 31, 2020 10:54 am
Location: Birmingham UK
Contact:

Re: Lost and alone

Postby Prycejosh1987 » Thu Jun 04, 2020 4:22 pm

InstantBroccoli wrote:After finding out my husband cheated on me, he's now come out as gay and said he was never in love with me (we were together almost 10 years and he'd always been the one pushing for things to get more serious- marriage babies etc). I just feel completely blown down and I don't know how to even process all this.

I've struggled with depression and anxiety since I can remember, and I've been on medication for it since I was 18 but this has made me take a HUGE step back. I feel like everything I've ever known was a lie and I don't know how to move on. I'm only 24 so almost half my life I've spent with this man telling me he loves me every single day, just for him to turn around now and say it wasn't real?

I just don't know where to start in healing. He said he's known that he was gay for ages and had been planning to leave me for the last 2 months or so, so he's already over it and it's hard to see. It's left me feeling rushed, like I should be ok with it too and just be able to pick up and move on straight away.

I don't even know how to begin, I feel so lost and stuck and I don't see any way out. I love this man with my whole heart and he's hurt me in the worst way- how do i cope with the stress of my whole life changing and how can I ever trust someone again?

I just need someone to talk to who can understand or help me make sense of what's happened

I just don't know what to do

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do about that, He hasnt left you because he was tired of the relationship, or that he cheated on you with a woman. But hes gay, theres nothing you can do about that. Your going to have to leave it all in the past unfortunately. You can still find another male partner, not all men leave their female partners and become gay its not common at all. Do not let this issue affect the pursuit of a good love life. It can still happen.
You can turn the tide, And change your life. Always. :wink:


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