Depression Understood Forums

Sometimes I sit and wonder how different I really am. Does everyone smile over their pain, does everyone look down from a tall height and think how peaceful it would be to just…. Jump. The freedom it would bring from people, the world, reality, and myself, into a bliss. A bliss where I did not have to keep fighting these demons I created. So I sit and wonder does everyone feel this. This question is serious because I’ve never asked “who else wants to die?”, everyone would laugh or maybe say yes because they had a bad day and life sucks.

So instead I hide. In plain sight with a smile. Being consumed by anxiety, depression and insecurity in front of everyone, living a lie. Because I can only cry when I am alone, no one can know how much I’m hurting no matter how much I want to scream it from a rooftop. Because it wouldn’t help there’s nothing you can do once something is destroyed. You can say I matter; you can say you love me, but it doesn’t help so what’s the point. I want to help myself. The only person that can talk me off that cliff is me, but how long can someone fight the same fight. The damage is done my pain won’t stop; the tears wont stop; the voices wont stop; the thoughts wont stop. IT WILL NEVER STOP. So when is it? When can I erase it all ?..... when will I FINALLY be like everyone else?.....Or does everyone else want to die too?

PAIN, ANXIETY AND DEPRESSION!! All extremely debilitating ailments.

NO MORE FOR ME - Had chronic 24/7 knee pain for nearly 3 years - GONE!! Still some discomfort but not hobbling around like a 90 year old woman.

27 plus years taking prescription drugs for anxiety and depression - NO MORE!! STOPPED drugs back in November 2019.

I started using a Full Spectrum Hemp Oil on 10 December, 2019 - a couple of drops under my tongue daily, a couple of drops massaged into my knee daily.

I'm 67 years young - knee pain is simply a discomfort now. I am sleeping like a baby. Waking up refreshed and revitalized every morning! I have all my youthful OOMPH back!! Definitely not depressed!!

I can only attribute my new 2020 self to my daily hemp oil usage!

Like more info? Email: [email protected]

PDNDM20 wrote:Sometimes I sit and wonder how different I really am. Does everyone smile over their pain, does everyone look down from a tall height and think how peaceful it would be to just…. Jump. The freedom it would bring from people, the world, reality, and myself, into a bliss. A bliss where I did not have to keep fighting these demons I created. So I sit and wonder does everyone feel this. This question is serious because I’ve never asked “who else wants to die?”, everyone would laugh or maybe say yes because they had a bad day and life sucks.

So instead I hide. In plain sight with a smile. Being consumed by anxiety, depression and insecurity in front of everyone, living a lie. Because I can only cry when I am alone, no one can know how much I’m hurting no matter how much I want to scream it from a rooftop. Because it wouldn’t help there’s nothing you can do once something is destroyed. You can say I matter; you can say you love me, but it doesn’t help so what’s the point. I want to help myself. The only person that can talk me off that cliff is me, but how long can someone fight the same fight. The damage is done my pain won’t stop; the tears wont stop; the voices wont stop; the thoughts wont stop. IT WILL NEVER STOP. So when is it? When can I erase it all ?..... when will I FINALLY be like everyone else?.....Or does everyone else want to die too?

If you want things to end. You have to fight back mentally. Stop thinking about issues with yourself in a negative way and think about what you have. Its not good to be alone or feel alone and you, only you, have the power to change that.