Howdy
Posted: Wed Oct 30, 2019 5:30 pm
Hi, so I have been fighting depression for a long time. I am a 47 year old man that has a lot of health issues. I have had triple bypass a mini stroke etc.. One of my many doctors has given me 3-8 years to live. Personally I really don't see a reason to keep living but I will not take my own life.
Yes this is going to sound wrong but I think it would be much easier and cheaper to take my own life. I love God and believe all things happen for a reason, just some things suck lol. I have 1 daughter and a grand daughter, people say fight for them. I know this will sound selfish but just my thoughts, I have been trying but don't see a reason to. I do think about ending it a lot but know that is the wrong option.
I find it hard to want to get up and keep going, especially when I know my time is limited. I know this sounds weird but it seems like my heart has broken and can not love the way it should. I have always been a very loving and caring man, have wanted to love and be loved. But the love i wanted was holding a woman in my arms and feeling the passion/love that drives us all from her.
All I can think about is when will the end come, I am ready. I have made my piece with God, and almost all of my debt is gone. Now I sit and wait and pray that maybe it will come sooner.
Maybe I can be a warrior for God, I would love that.
Yes this is going to sound wrong but I think it would be much easier and cheaper to take my own life. I love God and believe all things happen for a reason, just some things suck lol. I have 1 daughter and a grand daughter, people say fight for them. I know this will sound selfish but just my thoughts, I have been trying but don't see a reason to. I do think about ending it a lot but know that is the wrong option.
I find it hard to want to get up and keep going, especially when I know my time is limited. I know this sounds weird but it seems like my heart has broken and can not love the way it should. I have always been a very loving and caring man, have wanted to love and be loved. But the love i wanted was holding a woman in my arms and feeling the passion/love that drives us all from her.
All I can think about is when will the end come, I am ready. I have made my piece with God, and almost all of my debt is gone. Now I sit and wait and pray that maybe it will come sooner.
Maybe I can be a warrior for God, I would love that.