Not sure

[Bucky]

Im not sure whay to expect i guess im just looking for someone to talk to about my problem

[Spleefy]

Hi Bucky,

Welcome to the forums.

There are many friendly and loving people on here that I'm sure will be more than happy to talk to you.

It is a loving and helpful community here.

[Bucky]

Sometimes i dont think thinhs will get any better life seems like a bad movie i cant walk out on and cant wait to be over

[Spleefy]

That is a very good description of how it feels.

I know it feels like there is no way out, but you will find a way. I’m very confident and hopeful that pretty much anyone can get through depression. The reason being is because I was there—for over ten years!

During that time, I literally thought I was doomed and going to live in a state of depression for the rest of my life. I could not see any way out of it. I didn't think things could ever get better. I mean, how could they? My life was the same each day--depressed and suicidal. Nothing changed, only got worse.

I lived with depression for so many years that I knew nothing else. Depression shaped my personality, so I didn't even know who I was. I didn't know how to live, except by the standards of depression. My upbringing also didn't help in that I had no emotional intelligence, I had no clue how to live life, I wasn't taught how to love or to be loved, I didn't know how to keep relationships, I wasn't taught much, and I had no skills to speak of. I basically had to grow up and be my own parent, teaching myself how to live since my parents were poor role models. So I was essentially snookered.

But I hung in there, and I eventually found a way out of the darkness. Then, I could establish standards I wanted to live by and begin rebuilding my life from the ground up, rising above my past life, figuring out who I really was or wanted to be along the way.

I know it sounds trite, but I strongly believe that if I managed to get out of it, then others can, too. I’m not very intelligent or skillful and, yet, I still overcame depression completely on my own without therapy or meds, or even friends. I had no support during this time except my own determination and inner strength.

So I figure, if I can do it, then other people can, especially if they do have a support network and, hopefully, people who love them. But even if they don’t, we all have that inner strength that we can utilize.

Don’t underestimate your inner strength, Bucky. We all have it. It is there, waiting for you to tap into it. Everyone has a different trigger.

My trigger for tapping into my inner strength was anger. I was really angry for being depressed for so many years and I had just about enough of it.

I was also exhausted and sick of trying to overcome depression, year after year.

I had to think outside the box. I was so exhausted and just wanted to die. I couldn’t cope living with depression anymore. The pain... oh the emotional pain was so unbearable. Everyone here knows this unbearable pain I speak of.

But I knew I had to keep trying no matter what...

No matter how exhausted I was.

No matter how dispirited I was.

So, one day, I had a conversation with myself. I literally spoke to depression and told it that it hijacked my life long enough, now I was going to take charge of MY life, not depression. In retrospect, this conversation I had with myself and depression is hilarious, but it worked lol.

So just find that trigger to tap into your own inner strength. Draw it out because it can never be crushed. Don’t underestimate the human spirit. Just think outside the box, and you'll find a way out. Don't narrow yourself down to only mainstream treatment approaches. If it was really that good then why are so many people still depressed?

This is why, speaking ONLY for myself, I knew I had to ditch therapy and synthetic drugs and start thinking for myself and to be my own health consultant. I feel that doctors don't always know what is best for our health. It is also good to think for ourselves and reason things out as well as do our own research.

Keep strong, Bucky. Perhaps instead of being in the audience watching a bad movie, you can be the producer and create your own! Create the movie you want to see.

Start small. Just do bits of the movie, frame by frame, until you have the full movie put together. It can take time, but it is a worthwhile and rewarding journey.

[littlestarsmum]

Welcome to this forum, Bucky. Nice to meet you.
I’m sorry you’re feeling that way. I know how difficult and frustrating it must be for you. Life can be stressful, and intense feelings can be nearly overwhelming at times. Please know that your life is precious and you don’t need to carry your burdens alone. Are you seeing a therapist/counselor? I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His perfect love and provide the strength and help you need at this time. You can always come here to share, and we’re all here to support you. Stay strong. Hugs!

[Prycejosh1987]

Sometimes i dont think thinhs will get any better life seems like a bad movie i cant walk out on and cant wait to be over

Life gets better when you take action and steps to make it better.