Hello (+ some venting)

Introductions and welcomes.

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Doesn'tMatterWho
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2019 7:26 am

Hello (+ some venting)

Postby Doesn'tMatterWho » Thu Sep 26, 2019 9:02 am

---removing this, sorry :) Thanks for the help ---
Last edited by Doesn'tMatterWho on Mon Mar 30, 2020 4:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.

athena.vhd
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Hello (+ some venting)

Postby athena.vhd » Thu Sep 26, 2019 1:22 pm

hello!im so happy i succeed reading this post but too sad about how u feel.
i think the best thing in this site is that u can vent even by a long post and at least ppl will understand u.
friends(at least for me)are so effective some of them give me motivation to stay alive...
im sure u will find some ppl to get friend with them here as i did.
hope u feel better soon and see u here again. : )

Doesn'tMatterWho
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2019 7:26 am

Re: Hello (+ some venting)

Postby Doesn'tMatterWho » Thu Sep 26, 2019 2:15 pm

Doesn'tMatterWho:

----------------- removing this--------------------------
Last edited by Doesn'tMatterWho on Mon Mar 30, 2020 4:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.

athena.vhd
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Hello (+ some venting)

Postby athena.vhd » Fri Sep 27, 2019 4:25 am

No apology needed. : )
actually this is a goog habit...i do too and when i write i really feel good.
thank u for ur nice wish and i wish u the same.

j2415
Posts: 64
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:37 am

Re: Hello (+ some venting)

Postby j2415 » Fri Sep 27, 2019 3:00 pm

Hello,
Welcome to the group! I hope you felt better after you shared your first post. That’s what I do whenever I am going through something, I write it down. Weeks ago, I was very sad and I also decided to share my feelings in one of the parent’s groups who are going through the same experience I had. I felt better after I wrote everything down.

I hope you will be encouraged by the replies here. Keep posting, we are here for you.

Sorry for all your struggles. May God’s peace and comfort be upon you and things will be well with you. Take care. I hope to hear from you again.

Spleefy
Posts: 240
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: Hello (+ some venting)

Postby Spleefy » Sat Sep 28, 2019 9:42 am

I don’t think age is relevant to hardship and painful experiences. Many of us are born into an abusive environment. Consequently, by the time they reach their teenage years, they are already damaged. This can go well into their adulthood, often with a lifelong impact.

It’s interesting when you said you tend to “absorb others’ emotions”. This reminded me that I tend to do the same, especially years ago. I can definitely relate to the stress this brings about. Over the years, I’ve been teaching myself to not do this.

What made the transition doable and easier was to be more social. I absorbed other people’s emotions more when I isolated myself, especially as I am introverted (or at least used to be, as I trained and reprogrammed myself to be more extroverted).

Anyway, I just thought I would share that, as it made me reflect on it.

Sadly, alcohol seems to be a common form of self-medication for many people, probably because it is easy, convenient, in abundant supply, and relatively affordable to obtain.

Have you tried to talk to her when she is sober about how it makes you feel when she says nasty things to you when she drinks? What about her drink driving? Have you tried to talk her out of that, again when she is sober? I would hate for her to kill someone on the road. Perhaps you can encourage her to not drink drive, and bring to her awareness that she is putting, not only her life, but more importantly other people’s lives at risk each time she gets behind the wheel under the influence.

You said: “I don’t blame them too much—I am not the nicest person”. Try not to think that way about yourself. Unless you are just plain mean to people or an evil person, then you are worth getting to know. True?

Perhaps you just haven’t yet met the right people. I’m sure you will meet good-hearted people that you can connect with and have a lot in common.

You also questioned if anyone would read what you would write. Again, try not to be so judgmental of yourself. You have a great style of writing that is easy to understand, flows smoothly, and enjoyable to read. Besides, you would be surprised what people out there read. Nothing wrong with “weird and dark”, as I know many people out there can relate to it and thus to you. So don’t give up on your writing, mate!

I’m glad to hear that your social anxiety is now not as severe. Did you do anything to lessen the severity? If so, what did you do? Social anxiety seems common—I’m sure people would love to know how you lessened the severity of social anxiety and how you cope with it.

I used to have social anxiety something shocking… to the point that I couldn’t leave the house let alone check the mailbox several meters from my front door.

I mentioned in other posts how I overcame it to now being able to talk to anyone on the street, even complete strangers, and strike wonderful conversations. For example, today I met an incredibly beautiful, well spoken, intelligent, and caring young woman at doggy training.

I initiated a conversation with her, and we ended up speaking for well over an hour after the session. Turns out she is a support worker (I am an informal carer for my uncle and aware of the service provider she works for—small world!).

There is no way I could have done this when I had social anxiety. Heck, I wouldn’t even have gone to a social event in the first place.

I think overcoming social anxiety adds so much value to our lives. To be able to leave the house, to be confident, to initiate and hold conversations with people from all walks of life… much of our human happiness depends on our ability and opportunity for social interactions.

I think social anxiety also fuels depression, and depression fuels social anxiety... at least it was in my case. First had to overcome depression in order to be more social. But to maintain mental health, I also make sure I do something social fairly regular.

I hope you achieve your career goals. I wouldn’t stress to much about not having direction at the moment. It can take time to find our life purpose. There is no time frame of when we need to have concrete direction—life is dynamic and full of various, interesting paths. But it sounds like you have a general direction that you want to go, so you have something you can work with. Some people, on the other hand, have absolutely no idea what they want to do with their life. You also have youth on your side, so plenty of time to figure things out.

Depression and self-harm can happen at any age--I believe it is fairly common among youths. I think major depression is misunderstood in that some people think that you need to go through a certain amount of suffering to “qualify” for depression. This is definitely not true. Everyone’s experiences and how they are affected by those experiences is unique.

Brain chemistry also plays a critical role in mental health, which can become dysfunctional by such things as genes, diet, metabolic disorders, malabsorption, environment, and a sedentary life.

So for you to have depression and to self-harm is not at all “cringe worthy” or “stupid” but, rather, a condition of this system of things. Fortunately, in the new world, depression won't exist. Oorah!

Thanks for sharing your feelings with us. I hope you are feeling better and things look up for you.

Doesn'tMatterWho
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2019 7:26 am

Re: Hello (+ some venting)

Postby Doesn'tMatterWho » Sun Sep 29, 2019 12:55 pm

----------------- removing this--------------------------
Last edited by Doesn'tMatterWho on Mon Mar 30, 2020 4:22 pm, edited 1 time in total.

athena.vhd
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: Hello (+ some venting)

Postby athena.vhd » Sun Sep 29, 2019 3:08 pm

medicine and pharmacy are the best majors in my country i remember how much i tried to improve my lessons and get better but i hadnt the motivation and i choosed psychology...
i wish u can be a great doctor and still post here so i can see how it feels to be a doctor or something.
its different for every person but sometimes i just think i nneed a success in my life to figure out how effective i can be at least in my family life.
can u get along with ur mother?
i mean it may seems silly to ask this.
some of this guys know i have problems with my mother she defines a lot of limits in my life but it feels good when i hug her and try to understand her .
i mean maybe u can help her too! and this gives u a confident and motivation to continue.
i dont know if iit makes sense or not...but i hope so.

Doesn'tMatterWho
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Sep 26, 2019 7:26 am

Re: Hello (+ some venting)

Postby Doesn'tMatterWho » Mon Sep 30, 2019 2:51 am

Yes, I constantly try to understand her. And she has often said she appreciates it. But I don't know - it just seems that even if I support her a lot, she is still the way she is, you know.
Thanks anyway. :)


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