intro

Introductions and welcomes.

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Annabanana85
Posts: 1
Joined: Tue Aug 20, 2019 5:08 am

intro

Postby Annabanana85 » Tue Aug 20, 2019 5:19 am

hello.

my name is Anna..i'm 33 , married and a mother of 4 kids aged 14,12,7 and 2. i am a dane and live in Aarhus , Denmark with husband and kids.
i'm not sure what i want from joining this group, but i've been battling severe depression and suicidal thoughts on and off for many years now, and maybe connecting with people in a similar situation, would be good for me ??...
i can't silence my mind... i can't do like the average person seems to do very easily all throughout their lives... i can't stop wondering about where we come from...where did the world come from and why and what happens after death.... for many years i was extremely religious, because i just felt like i neede a place to stand , but i've come to realise that religion does not hold any real answers....... i am agnostic now which is fine..but i am frustrated about the unanswered questions and it is in the back of my head on a daily basis... how asleep people are... just living life and not giving these things any thought..... but on the other hand it feels like a curse, because no one knows the answer, and it sends me into deep depression and despair....... i honestly think if i wasn't a mom i'd take my own life... right now i am just coping and hanging on for their sake........... i feel guilty for having kids... life is cruel and meaningless and they did not ask to be born,....

i'm rambling..... well anyways... thats my introduction.

thanks . Anna
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athena.vhd
Posts: 44
Joined: Mon Mar 19, 2018 1:18 pm

Re: intro

Postby athena.vhd » Tue Aug 20, 2019 6:06 am

hello Anna welcome here.
thank u for introduction.
hope u find what makes u feel better here and as soon as possible.

Spleefy
Posts: 200
Joined: Sat Sep 09, 2017 6:54 am

Re: intro

Postby Spleefy » Tue Aug 20, 2019 10:30 am

Welcome to the forums, and thank you for introducing yourself.

Yes, depression can make our minds tick over constantly, and it is exhausting. I had trouble conceptualizing how everyone around me could just live out their lives, while I was living in constant anguish from the time I opened my eyes to the time I closed them. What I found frightening about depression is that it hijacks my thoughts and it places me in the passengers seat in my own life.

Aw that is a shame you didn’t find the answers in the Bible. It is also very surprising, actually.

Like you, I had the same curiosity about life and death. When I had depression, I had many questions, including…

Why is the world so cruel?
Why is the world the way it is?
Why do we exist?
What is the meaning of life? What is our purpose?
Is there really a God?
If there is a God, then why do we suffer?
What happens when we die?
What happens after death?
Is there life after death?
Do spirits exists?
Etc...

At the time, life seemed meaningless. I held the belief (influenced by depression) that life was meaningless because we were born into a corrupt world, we get sick, we grow old, struggle then die. Life thus was absolutely pointless to my logic.

Other imperfect humans gave me the answer that “life is what we make of it” or “we are here to make the world a better place before we die”, etc.

But these still didn’t answer the question… what is the point of it all? We just suffer and die anyway, so why are we even here? Those answers weren't adequate to my rationale.

It wasn’t until I began learning about God and doing Bible studies, that my entire view of self and the world changed. All my questions were finally answered. I knew why the world is the way it is. Why we are created and born. What God’s purpose is. What our purpose is. What happens when we die. What happens after death. What happens in the future.

It also stopped me from living in a fantasy world, fantasizing and romanticizing about the supernatural and the paranormal. I was a paranormal fanatic and had the ambition to explore every supposedly haunted activity in different locations in hope of encountering spirits and experiencing the adrenaline rush that comes with it.

I would often watch paranormal documentaries, etc. It was an obsession of mine. I did it because I needed some meaning in my life.

I always knew there was something wrong with this world. No matter how hard I tried, I felt like I didn’t belong in this world, but for the life of me could not figure out why.

So, I figured, since I clearly don’t belong to this world, I will become a part of the spirit world, whether alive or dead. At the time, it was the only way I could attach meaning to my perceived meaningless life.

But by learning more about God, I learnt the truth. I am no longer fixated on demonic influences, which is both is liberating and lifesaving.

What’s interesting, is that I learned I still don’t belong to this world! :lol: However, I can clearly see why. The Bible showed me why I could never fit into this world… finally! It teaches me to understand more about myself (so much for therapists!). You know how much relief I got when I finally learnt this, after years of wondering why I couldn’t fit in? Now I know why and it all makes sense. I do not belong to this world and I’m so proud about that.

It's kinda funny because it makes me feel like I have secret knowledge about the world and life that nobody else has :lol: But, of course, everybody has access to the same knowledge.

I think it makes all the difference when we have access to resources and people to help us to learn about God and his Word, the Bible.

The Bible encourages us to think, to mediate, to reason things out. What I also love about the Bible is that it also teaches us that we must have the right attitude and to humble ourselves, not to be proud of puffed up with pride (which makes us unteachable), and to pray before we begin our studies to prepare our mind and heart to understand God’s Word.

Perhaps one day, when you are ready, you may open your mind and heart to God’s wisdom once again and find the answers you are searching for.

Realistically, it is impossible to find answers about life and our purpose from other imperfect humans because they are just as clueless as everyone else. They are limited by their own imperfect wisdom and reasoning power. Only our loving Creator can answer such questions because… well… he created us! We can’t get any more rational or logical or even uncomplicated as that.

You are right, though… religion doesn’t hold any real answers. Religion is spirituality that has been corrupted by man and created by Satan and his demons to encourage people to do false worship and idolatry.

If you ever need some spiritual direction, let me know and I will help put you in the right direction. There is no pressure. Only if you want to :)

God aside, I’m glad you have something to live for—something to hang on to. Your children are fortunate to have a mother that is so loving and resilient, even if for their sake.

Keep us all posted. We are all here to give you as much love and support as we can.
Jehovah is close to the brokenhearted; he saves those who are crushed in spirit.—Psalm 34:18

littlestarsmum
Posts: 87
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: intro

Postby littlestarsmum » Wed Aug 28, 2019 11:42 pm

Welcome aboard, Anna. Nice to meet you. Thanks for your interest in connecting with us here.
I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. I know it’s not easy to go through depression and suicidal thoughts. Please don’t be hard on yourself. Your life is precious, and putting an end to your life with never solve your problems. You need to be strong for your family. Have you ever considered talking to a therapist/counselor? A caring professional might be able to help you cope up with your difficulties. Do you have a support group nearby where you can connect with people regularly? Remember that you deserve to feel better and you don’t need to carry your burdens alone. You can always come here to share, and we’re all here to support you. Stay strong. Hugs.


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