Depression treatment centers
Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2019 1:18 pm
Hi, I’m new to this forum, though not new to depression. I have been experiencing this off and on for around 15 years.
Four years ago, my youngest child was in his senior year. In January he decided he wanted to enlist in the Navy. That began the worst depression I have ever experienced. I have not been able to get out of it since then. I’m proud of him, in fact he’s down to the last few months of his service! He will then be applying to Border Patrol. I suppose it was just something about him being my son one day to the next, he was a man. He left and I knew he would never be home just as my little boy again. They instantly become adults! Of course I was told I just had empty nest syndrome (even though we had just received custody of our one year old grandson at the time. We have now adopted him and have raised him as our son) I was told by my dr, “Mothers in World War II had to let their sons go, it’s part of life” I knew that, yet I have no explanation why I was hit so hard. I had a full time career that I loved at the time, had been in for 20 years. I had to leave. I couldn’t keep my mind in track. I have tried a couple of different medications, went to a psychiatrist who told me they didn’t have time to talk to me, just enough time to get my basic information and try a combination of meds. They referred me to a psychologist. It took me a while, but I eventually did go. Not more than six times though. He just seemed to focus on my marriage (husband is the only real support I’ve ever had) even though I had given him information of a sexual asslt at 16 among serious childhood issues. So, I stopped going. I feel st the lowest point I ever have. It seems like I make that statement every week. Each time I say it I feel lower than the last.
I have looked at several different treatment centers. I have then narrowed down to three I’m seriously considering. Does anyone have recommendations or actual experience for where they have gone and what establishment is really worth spending time and money at?
I just want my life back. I want to smile and feel happiness, not smile because it’s what is expected. I feel empty, hurt, lonely, numb... I owe it to my family to do something. I have become completely secluded only leaving to pick up my son from school or a dr appt. I have no drive, motivation, nothing. This isn’t fair to my family. I would never take my own life, yet I have never thought so much about dying as I have in the last 6 months. I sleep just to avoid feeling. I seriously hope at times to somehow acquire amnesia, just to start over. I don’t share anything, any information with anyone. My husband has stepped up and does everything for me. But acts as though nothing is wrong. I suppose he doesn’t want to confront anything. I don’t want to discuss it either, it would mean admitting I have failed everyone. Avoidance has become our norm.
So, I feel like intense and immediate treatment may be the way. It would force me to deal with this on a daily basis. I can’t barely get out of bed, so placing myself in an environment like that may be my answer.
So, any suggestions would be appreciated.
Four years ago, my youngest child was in his senior year. In January he decided he wanted to enlist in the Navy. That began the worst depression I have ever experienced. I have not been able to get out of it since then. I’m proud of him, in fact he’s down to the last few months of his service! He will then be applying to Border Patrol. I suppose it was just something about him being my son one day to the next, he was a man. He left and I knew he would never be home just as my little boy again. They instantly become adults! Of course I was told I just had empty nest syndrome (even though we had just received custody of our one year old grandson at the time. We have now adopted him and have raised him as our son) I was told by my dr, “Mothers in World War II had to let their sons go, it’s part of life” I knew that, yet I have no explanation why I was hit so hard. I had a full time career that I loved at the time, had been in for 20 years. I had to leave. I couldn’t keep my mind in track. I have tried a couple of different medications, went to a psychiatrist who told me they didn’t have time to talk to me, just enough time to get my basic information and try a combination of meds. They referred me to a psychologist. It took me a while, but I eventually did go. Not more than six times though. He just seemed to focus on my marriage (husband is the only real support I’ve ever had) even though I had given him information of a sexual asslt at 16 among serious childhood issues. So, I stopped going. I feel st the lowest point I ever have. It seems like I make that statement every week. Each time I say it I feel lower than the last.
I have looked at several different treatment centers. I have then narrowed down to three I’m seriously considering. Does anyone have recommendations or actual experience for where they have gone and what establishment is really worth spending time and money at?
I just want my life back. I want to smile and feel happiness, not smile because it’s what is expected. I feel empty, hurt, lonely, numb... I owe it to my family to do something. I have become completely secluded only leaving to pick up my son from school or a dr appt. I have no drive, motivation, nothing. This isn’t fair to my family. I would never take my own life, yet I have never thought so much about dying as I have in the last 6 months. I sleep just to avoid feeling. I seriously hope at times to somehow acquire amnesia, just to start over. I don’t share anything, any information with anyone. My husband has stepped up and does everything for me. But acts as though nothing is wrong. I suppose he doesn’t want to confront anything. I don’t want to discuss it either, it would mean admitting I have failed everyone. Avoidance has become our norm.
So, I feel like intense and immediate treatment may be the way. It would force me to deal with this on a daily basis. I can’t barely get out of bed, so placing myself in an environment like that may be my answer.
So, any suggestions would be appreciated.
