Please allow me to introduce myself......

[Instigator]

I am NOT a man of wealth and taste. Sorry to disappoint right from the start. However, I AM a woman, who has no money at all, and according to my daughter, NO taste whatsoever. That being said, hello.
I am a 39 year old mother of a fantastic 17 year old daughter. She has never been in trouble, we get along great, and 17 long years ago, she saved me FROM me.
I am educated, more so than most of the people I know, and I am in a relationship with a man who deserves SO much more than I have to give him, yet he says he loves me.
I also have relapsing remitting multiple sclerosis, and am currently in remission, and my arms have been damaged from the profession I chose. I am, or was a palliative care/end of life nurses aide. I enjoyed the work, and will miss it. I am 15 years + sober.
I don't know what it feels like to be happy, truly happy. The only moment of true peace I have ever experienced in my entire life was the moment I got to hold my daughter after a horrific 36 hour labor and near fatal delivery. That moment, is the precise moment that I knew I had to stick around for a while.
I am a survivor of domestic violence, and more than one violent rape, and so feel I am damaged goods. I hide behind an insane sense of humor, never letting anyone in side. My boyfriend has come close to cracking my defences, but I am well versed in the art of deflection, and in being downright cruel if needs be in order to keep people at bay, to keep them from seeing the real me. She is ugly, and she must never be allowed.
I would sincerely love to be free from this inner demon.
But, I fear she is going to prevail.
I came here to share, and to remind myslef that things could be a lot worse.
So, if I haven't frightened anyone off, and if you feel I am worth the time, hello, and nice to meet you all.
Thanks for letting me bend your ear...metaphoricly speaking.
Instigator

[Emotional_77]

welcome to the forums

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((( Instigator )))))))))))))))))))))

Good seeing you here and in the chat room. Perhaps we will get the chance to visit in the chat room.

You should a very determined person, feel positive from you, ty for that.

Talk soon.

Warmie/Jeanie13