Depression Understood Forums

Hi, I'm Kelly, i suffer from bouts of serious depression. i actually think i have bipolar, as i have EXTREME high's & low's, but no doctors can agree, so that's not yet diagnosed. my boyfriend works away for 8 days and is home for 6, so i often get lonley and more depresed in that time. anyways, i am 21 years old, from Outback QLD, Australia. i also have a relationship problem, listed below, if someone could give me advice, it'd be really appreciated.

and if you want to e-mail me to chat, anytime, my e-mail is:

[email protected]


Ok,so my BF of 2 years (we live together) just had all of his furnitire sent up to us, which is good ad all, as it is nice stuff, but it's the stuff that he shared with his ex-girlfriend, and now i don'[t feel comfortable being there. He also has old b'day presents from her, which is good stuff, like a flash and a zippo, both engraved so i can understand why he kept those, but i can't help feeling that he's going to look at all the stuff and miss her heaps, and that he might still love her. I can't tell him that i dont want that shit in OUR house, because he loves the furnature so much. i can't cope, i just feel sad all the time. and we havent had sex since we got the furnature there. maybe it reminds him of her too much?

She also broke up with him, in a LETTER (Bitch!) and i also cant stop thinking that because SHE left HIM, that he still loves her. Im not one for confrontation, what should i do? i cry myself to sleep everynight, and i can't take it anymore!!!!!

first off welcome to the site.

The best thing to do in any relationship problem is to communicate and be honest. Don't go out at him saying how you don't want the furniture there etc. Instead just say what you told us, how it is making you uncomfortable and your a little worried his mind is on her. He may still have feelings for her if the relationship ended with her breaking it off but that doesnt mean he wants to be with her..You can never really let go of feelings for someone, just remember hes with you not her and he loves you and wants to be with you. Its most likely he just likes the furniture.. i still own clothes that my ex gave me cause theyre comfortable im not going to throw everything out just cause we broke up.

hope this makes you a bit better and its ok to feel this way.

well, yeah, he loves the furniture, that why i feel like i cann't tell him that i feel uncomfortable. i dont expect him to throw it away, maybe just make it different? i dont know, confusing :s. but he's gone away to work now, so i think a trip to the fabric shop is in order ?! lol.

G'day Kelly, welcome to the forum. Sometimes it's hard to get over someone you truly cared for, or who meant a lot to you. I know from experience. How long ago did she break up with your boyfriend? Maybe he's just using you for comfort, and probably doesn't truly love you.

thisangelsdead wrote:well, yeah, he loves the furniture, that why i feel like i cann't tell him that i feel uncomfortable. .

I can understand that cause he will probably get mad either way you tell him, I don't know. Well I guess just look at other signs that maybe could mean he is thinking more about her.. i doubt he is from what you only said but if there is anything else you can think of tell us.

KTrain86 wrote:How long ago did she break up with your boyfriend? Maybe he's just using you for comfort, and probably doesn't truly love you.

they broke up like 4 years ago, she left him a not on the table saying she was leaving him. they were together for 6 years, she's the first person he slept with, they got together when they were like 16 in high school and brought a house together

wow, ouch... that must of hurt him. I don't know how he can keep some of the things that would remind him of her.. but the furniture is furniture you know? How is everything going now with him?

Hi Kelly,

I have problems with my boyfriend and his ex in the past, but it happens because you can't completely let go of feelings you had for someone, particularly if they were you're first love.
However I think that 4 years ago is a long time, and he must have been very hurt by the way she left him, which means he probably still also feels the hurt as well as the love.
Your negative feelings probabaly are reflecting on the relationship, which could have led to the lack of sexual contact? I don't think he would have been with you for the past 2 years unless he loved you.
You should speak to him about how you feel, but don't attack him, because he doesn't know that he may have hurt your feelings with the furniture.
Hope this helps. Good luck
Nat

(((((((((((((((((((((( Kelly )))))))))))))))))))))

Just sending a hug your way, hope that is all right.

Warmie