Depression Understood Forums

Hi, my name is Pablo. Lately everything seems to be against me. My parents divorced when I was a kid and since ten I`ve been living with my mum,we barely ever had money and moved from one place to anothe practicly all my life. We usually had to leave cause we couldn´t pay the rent and we were thown out. Around 2 years ago we came to Portugal, I got a job, a girlfriend,no problems were we were living... But I lost the job because I was going to another,and the guy that had offered it left the town, my mum didnt have money to pay the house and we were thown out, right now were staying in the restaurant my um has,but we cant pay the rent here either so its ust a matter of time...
My girlfriend and I had a fight,she has bipolar disorder and suffers from depression,and the other day we argued because she was upset,me too,and while we argued i asked if she really cared or loved me. Of course I know she does, I made a mistake, I was hurt at that moment, and I didn´t mean it. I tried to expalin it to her but she wants time and space, I know shes gonna leave me.
My friends dont talk to me since i came to Portugal,and I dont have any here. I cant find a job and i feel so lost,and I just want to disapear and not feel anything. I´ve also always felt alone and I know nobody understands me.
I needed to say all of this, thank you so much for your time.

Pretty tough life, eh? I'm so sorry that you have to deal with many issues including others' all at once.
I recommend you not to think about how everything will go too much because it would only stress you out.
You have been going through many issues already, you know, it's really hard to think positively and negative thinking
wouldn't help but worsen the situation.
I don't tell you to think positively but just try not to focus on either past or future. I know even trying to focus on the present would be hard because you would be afraid of losing your place to live, girlfriend, etc. But if you have a choice among those three (past, present, future), thinking and focusing on the present is the best. Don't you agree? Because that's the only thing you can deal and actually could change. Things will change, really, but when things CAN change, you really have to be there and be professional and be really good at things that change the whole thing. Even you don't have a job, you know you could go to library and read books or learn things without a penny, and when there is a chance for you to get a job, you can utilize information you acquired. You can prepare for that, you know? So many people focus on either future or past and when chances pass by, they can't catch them because their minds are not in the present, and I don't want you to stay in the spiral. You can get out of it!
Stay present, and find a little joy anything everyday no matter what and get support as much as you can from local community or government too. I really hope you good luck and really, don't forget, things will change as long as you are there professionally when chances pass by.

I am sorry to hear all of the things you are facing. Don't give up though. There are reasons for Hope! Do you have a church near you in Portugal? Talk to the pastor there. Ask them to pray with you. Perhaps they know of a place where you can live and get help looking for a job. I see there is a church called Lagoa Christian Fellowship in Lagoa, Portugal. Not sure if you are close to Lagoa. Use a Search Engine like Google to find their website. Call or email them. See if they can help you out or know of a church near you. In the meantime be sure to Pray and ask God to help you out of your situation. God cares for you! Reach out to God and He will reach out to you! You are not alone as God is there! Prayers for your situation! God Bless!