Depression Understood Forums

Hi there...I just joined this site. Even the idea of typing on here, much less introducing myself and "my situation" seems exhausting. My story is so long and in depth but the fact is, I don't even have the energy to write it even though I am SO DESPERATE to not feel this way anymore. I had to quit my job because I can't function. I can't shower or clean my house. I can't get out of bed. After years of battling addiction, depression, and the medication merry-go-round, I feel totally hopeless and can't fathom living my life this way much longer. I have no money. I too tried to start an online business in order to make money but it is failing because I don't have the funds to market it properly. I could go on and on but it is so draining. I thought I would try this...mostly because I can do it from my bed and because I feel so alone. Bills piling up, friends tired of my complaining and negativity....I am miserable. I manage to feed my cat and that's about it. I can't even eat anymore. Maybe it would be nice if I could find someone to befriend & communicate with. My poor self esteem is telling me nobody really wants to hear my sob story or cares though. Especially strangers. I'm tired. I'm drained. I feel hopeless. I am alone. I live over an hour away from civilization with a car that barely runs and almost zero cell signal...even if I wanted to talk or go somewhere, which I don't. I am also finding that I am gaining almost a phobia of people or leaving the house. I am in a fog. I have so little energy that I actually just copied & pasted the bulk of this from a reply I made to someone else post.

I am 42 and have been dealing with this most of my life with very brief periods of peace. But this is the worst I have ever been. There seems to be something missing between my heart and my brain. No connection. My spirituality is gone and I am barley hanging on to my Faith in God...but even with that, I still feel hopeless and doomed. Help me. Anyone.

Well, this is encouraging....

I'm sorry you feel that way...

My boyfriend of five years has been suffering from depression for so long, and doesn't seem to be getting any better - he sounds just like you...

He is so ashamed of his situation and sees a psychologist, and is on medication, but there doesn't seem to be any improvement

I don't know what to do - it's so frustrating and depressing. I find myself slipping into my own depresssion...

Thank you for responding. I was hoping this forum would be a last ditch effort to reach out & get some help or support...it was so hard to even register & post & to see no further responses is making me feel worse. I understand this sounds selfish & self centered but I'm in such a bad state that I can't offer support to others right now. I tried to reach out to 2 others on this site to maybe help each other but also, no reply. Just adds to my already preceived notion that I am invisible.

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I'm willing to work with you inexpensively, I'm a life & career coach that's seeing how lack of thoughtfulness is an epidemic and it is causing all of us to to get overblown with the rate of information thats coming our way. I'd like to know what you're ideal outcome would be if things all worked out in your life, text me +1 714-886-6581