Depression Understood Forums

I am here because I need help. I thought I could work through this alone, but I was wrong. Everyday I wake up with one question, do I really matter? Do I matter to my family? Do I matter to my friends? What is the point of living if no one cares? It feels like I am being pushed away by everyone. I feel like I am unwanted in everything. I have tried to just push through these feelings, but the more I try the more they seem to push back. It has started to get to the point where I just don't want to live anymore. If I don't matter to anyone what is the point? It is a struggle to just get out of bed in the morning or get something to eat. I've recently told someone that I consider to be my closest friend about all of this. I told her a week ago and she has not spoken to me since then. I'm starting to wonder if she was really ever my friend to begin with. I have never felt so alone in my life. I don't know how much longer I can hold on.

I am brand new to this site too, and also to the world of depression. So I don't have a lot of answers, actually I probably have more questions than anything, but what I do know is we are not alone in these feelings. It seems like we are. I was actually dumbfounded when I found out someone else on here felt almost exactly the same way I do. These feelings seem so unfounded to anyone who's never experienced them. But they are REAL to us. And I don't think we can do it alone. Even if it's just the support from someone across the internet... I know we need support of some kind. About your friend, have you tried starting conversation with her? Sometimes people don't know how to react when they're confided in about these things. Don't give up on her just yet. Have you seen a doctor at all?
Hope you find the support you need!

I have sent her a text today asking her why she hasn't been talking to me, no reply so far. I just hope I didn't scare her away with all of this. I have recently set up an appointment with a psychiatrist for later this week, so I'm going to see how that goes. Thanks for responding.

Waiting is the worst. Hopefully you get something positive back from her.
I've been told it'd be a good idea to get some help for myself, but not sure what the first step should be. How long have you been struggling?

I've been dealing with a feeling of worthlessness for about three years. It just didn't seem like anyone really cared about what happens to me and it evolved from there. It has really been this past year where it turned into what it is now. As for getting help you have already finished the first step which is recognizing you need help. Next would probably be to set up an appointment. It took me a couple of weeks to work up the courage to do this. I'm afraid that they won't take me seriously because I'm only a freshman in college, but it is a risk that I am willing to take so I can move past this.

I think that's a great attitude to have, just go in there and be honest. Good for you for summoning up the courage! They have seen it before, I'm sure they'll believe you. Let us know how it goes. I'm still back and forth really. One minute I know I need to get help. The next, I think I'm just exaggerating. Making things up in my head.

My heart goes out to you, and some of my first thoughts are these song lyrics from a group called Tenth Avenue North: http://bit.ly/2esmZTt . You are so much more than what you feel right now, or your past or present situation or mistakes. Believe it! You are asking some good questions and reaching out is a great start! I have been where you are, and I know how stinking bad it feels! But God pulled me out of that deep pit of depression. He knows how to help you from the inside out, so you can be free from the cycle of depression. It is a LIE that you are worthless or that no one cares. That is what the devil, who is the enemy of your soul, wants you -- and millions of others -- to believe. True this world is messed up, and there is plenty to be depressed about; but there is more to this life than you may know, and the truth is that the One who made you has a GOOD life designed for you! Jesus is the one who said: "The thief's (the devil) purpose is to steal and kill and destroy. My purpose is to give them (you) a rich and satisfying life." Trust me, he means it! Would you be willing to read the gospel of John from the bible or find a bible-teaching community to help you? In the gospel of John you can read for yourself the good words of Jesus, and ask him to come into your life to give you the 'rich and satisfying life' that he promised. I am on the other side of depression and enjoying that life because of his amazing love and help for me! He brings the people and help that you need. Here are some resources also that you might find helpful: http://amzn.to/2f5iX54 or http://bit.ly/1TviRP2 . The last resource provides a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor, and can be reached by calling 855-382-5433. I will be praying for you. You are worth it. 'Life is hard. God is good.'

Good for you for seeking **scientific** answers from professionals! Faith is always helpful, but it's not all that you need.

Psychiatrists spend little time talking. They generally just type what you say and issue prescriptions and they whisk you in and out. I hope that shock won't make you feel even more worthless. It's just how it works. It's not you. It's the profession.

A psychologist or social worker will listen and ask questions. Just be honest. They've heard everything. You probably need that first, but they can't legally write scripts. If they think you need a prescription, they will give you something to give to an MD or psychiatrist so that they can write the prescription.

It's easier if you go to a group office where both are on hand. Saves time. You'll be more inclined to return if you don't have to run to one office appmt. to the other before going to the drugstore.

I'm speaking of the USA though. You may live elsewhere.

Keep us posted about what's going on, OK?