Depression Understood Forums

Me in a nutshell. I'm new to this site and to chat rooms in general. I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder. I am an alcoholic and an addict. I feel like I can't handle being sad anymore. I have been in a severe depression since January 2015. Now that it's been over a year with little improvement I feel even more hopeless. I cannot find a job. I think I might actually be invisible. I dropped out of college last month. I have precious few friends. I don't sleep very much, when I do I have nightmares. I am very very lonely. I feel like I can't handle another year of feeling this way. I cry far too often and rarely find reason to laugh. I didn't mean to come here to whine. I'm simply telling anyone who might see this what is going on with me. I have hope that I can make it through this but I need help. I'm so lonely.

Love you all,

Michael908

Hello,
I'm new here too and can identify with some of the things you are going through. I feel invisible at times. Sometimes when I say things to my bf he doesn't even reply, its like I'm not here at all. It really makes me feel bad. I had a really rough night and kept thinking if I ended it there would be no one who would miss me. Sure some family members might be sad for awhile, but I just don't talk to them enough to feel like I have any impact on their lives. Bad dreams and nightmares are a constant thing with me. Sometimes I don't want to sleep because of the possibility of having one. I'm pretty messed up and don't know if I can help but I wanted to let you know you are not alone. Sometimes when I get so low, I think I gotta do something, anything to get out of this. I will watch something funny, even if I'm not in the mood. It feels weird to laugh when I'm so down, but it has helped me not to stay so down. I can't identify with your particular addiction, but feel that I am addicted to other things like sugar and spending money. Its has gotten my into trouble that will be hard to fix. I hope just reading this helps you. If you ever want to talk let me know.

Hey Michael,

Welcome to the forums Please update us on how you're doing. *hugs*