Depression Understood Forums

Hi my name is Shannon and I'm new to this site. I was looking around the internet to try and find a place where people felt similar to what I'm feeling. I've been struggling lately with not wanting to continue living. I have always since I was young failed to connect with people I never had a lot of friends in school and I'm always that girl that doesn't talk to anyone at work. I used to try and say hi to people, but most attempts were answered with an eye roll or that hi back that you know is based on the fact that person feels bad for you. I guess I don't know what it is about me but people don't like me. I've always struggled with understanding why it has been so hard for me to make friends with people or just talk to them about more than the weather. As time has gone on I feel myself giving up..

Hi Shannon,

I think I know how you feel. For me the failure to connect with other people always starts with confusion, we can never know what is going on in anyone else's head, and words and actions can certainly be confusing. For me the "eye roll" look was generally because I had made someone mad. I view this as a translation problem, some people don't understand what I mean, so my comments can seem rude, when actually they are naieve and childish. I would take the "eye roll" as a sign to think of that person as someone to work with on your etiquette. They can be the audience for your actions, but don't count on them ever being a friend ... you don't speak the same language.

On the other hand, for me, the statement:

you know is based on the fact that person feels bad for you

Has often proven false for me. I recommend concentrating on these people as potential friends. I think of it as exploring new territories. The other thing you could do might be to list your interests, and then plan on ways to follow them. I once heard "Do what you love, the money will follow." Well, I never found something that I loved that would pay, but I have found friends doing the things that I loved.

Please keep in touch.