help . . . i'm kind of confused

[jake.x.99]

i was in the chatroom this morning. i wasn't really talking to anyone, just reading along and once in a very great while, i would chime in with agreement to something someone said. i find that reading along that way settles my mind a little sometimes.

another chatter made a comment directed to me demanding that i stop send abusive messages to him/her via pm. i immediately responded that i didn't know what he/she meant because i wasn't sending him/her pm's (nor would i without first asking permission). he/she repeated the statement a couple of times, and i responded each time that i wasn't doing anything like that. the chatter threatened to put me on ignore, which would have been fine with me because i honestly wasn't talking to him/her (or to anyone else). then a third chatter said something about getting a "mod" and less than a minute later, i was banned from the chatroom. i don't know who to contact to get access again. i sincerely was not doing anything wrong, and i truly would not have done anything like what i was accused of having done. i understand the purpose and value of this room and wouldn't do anything to upset another chatter. i feel like i was banned unfairly, and i just don't understand why, or what i need to do to get access again. i just want to sit quietly and read the posts. i won't bother anyone.

can someone please tell me what the process is to get back in? no one asked me for my side of the story or questioned what was going on. i was just summarily banned. please help . . .

[jake.x.99]

i have to say that i am really disappointed and upset that no one associated with this site could be bothered to respond to my inquiry. after i was kicked out of the chatroom, i followed what i understood to be the proper protocol for addressing the matter -- i sent an email requesting an opportunity to "talk" with someone to resolve the issue. i waited a while and heard nothing in response, so i posted here. i tried to make my post as inoffensive as possible and merely asked for clarification as to how i could get access to the chatroom again. i specifically did not rant about the situation, nor did i "name names" of those other chatters who had accused me of improperly pm-ing -- which i, once again, assert that i did not do. as i suggested in my email seeking reinstatement, i generally do not even speak in the chatroom. i generally just watch the words scroll by and periodically speak in the main room about a topic that might come up that i have questions or information or an opinion about. i sincerely do my very best to say nothing that might be perceived as offensive or confrontational. this approach is one i have always followed in other chatrooms and have found to be "comforting" to me -- it helps me to get my feet back under me when i am feeling a little lost. i have never, ever been kicked out of a chatroom before this, and frankly, was very surprised under the circumstances to have been kicked out of here without anyone so much as asking to hear my side of the story. i understand very well that the first concern in a chatroom like this has to be with the relative safety of the participants, and as a result, "due process" must be suspended -- at least temporarily, but i think someone ought to consider that the relative safety of the person accused and kicked out might need to count as well. after several days, no one has tried to contact me in response to my post or my email to find out if, perhaps, i ought to be reinstated. consequently, i am left to conclude that this is just one more place (albeit, one of the last places i would have expected) where i simply don't matter. being cast aside this way simply confirms everything that i feel and makes it more plain that the path i had deemed to be the right one for me and for the people i love is absolutely correct. i don't matter and my presence is harmful and repulsive to others, so my presence should be eliminated. thanks for understanding, "Depression Understood," and thanks for driving that point home to me. message received.