New Name at Least

[nenkohai2]

I've been around. I don't come by often. Don't have the time, really. I dumped my last profile (nenkohai) but made a new one.

I find the posts here to be too nihilistic for me. I don't understand the immersion into the victim mentality, either. So, I really have nothing to contribute to this community. Or, perhaps more correctly, I'm disinclined.

I try to heal. Either I won't allow myself; or there's an external force at work.

Diagnosed 20 years ago with depression and OCD. Suffering PTSD after a violent encounter with my son (18 years old and 6'4"). He doesn't understand what he did. He doesn't get it at all. And that encounter has changed my life. 5 months ago.

I may have inadvertently laid the groundwork for that a couple years back. Summer 2012. So, maybe this is my punishment - to have my son turn on me. Ok ok ok ok ... I know. I know. Look who's talking about self-victimization now! Okay.... anyway. That's my story for now.