Hi, I am new to group. I have been dealing with depression most of my life. I have been on and off meds many times. I am currently on meds and starting to feel better. My main concern right now is that my husband is severely depressed and I can't get him to get help. I think he has been depressed for a long time but I'm only just seeing because I was so depressed before. He is to the point of hopelessness and has shut down emotionally. He is currently not living with us (we have 4boys) so that makes it hard to help him on a daily basis.
I guess my question is what can I do to help him realize he needs help? I having tried talking to him, offering to bring him to the doctor, even brought him to ER because I thought he'd hurt himself but they wouldn't admit him. He is very smart and can talk his way out of anything. It's killing me to see him like this and knowing that if he would just get help he'd feel so much better.
Thanks
Need support please
Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
I understand that you want your husband to get help because you love him so much, you care about him and dont wanna lose him. I know this is hard for me to say but could u sit back and see what u would do if you were in his shoes and think about what u would be like if u were him. Maybe try this and see wether u can sympathize with ur husband or if urthoughts remain the same . Could u try this and let me know what happens?
Don't worry if that don't work, its only to see for urself how u would feel if u were him. Everyone deals with depression in different ways and its good to know that it showing him he don't need to deal with this on his own .
The other thing is to maybe focus on what's happening now then what may happen or what has happened. You want to live in the present so that you won't need to worry about what could happen or what did happen. You need to live for today and by doing that I suggest you carry on spending time with your kids, going to work, keep socialsing with your friends and most important take care of you.
You just need to take a step back and gather your thoughts for you to realise that you will get through this and untill you get through this your going to carry on as normal as you did before so you can see this through to the end.
Just remember that your still going to be there for your husband but you need to look after urself two. All you can do is support him through this without being difficult or pushy as you know this is not what he wants. I'm sure he's ok right now and your the only one who knows when he isn't. Let him come round in his own time. Remember that your still his partner and still in his life. Don't let this split both of you apart.
I hope all goes well and if you need someone to talk to then you know that you always have got this place. In the mean time you could always go back to see the doctor if anything else is concerning you or try counselling if you haven't yet. You need to remember as well that your not on your own.
Keep up the good work your doing two x
Don't worry if that don't work, its only to see for urself how u would feel if u were him. Everyone deals with depression in different ways and its good to know that it showing him he don't need to deal with this on his own .
The other thing is to maybe focus on what's happening now then what may happen or what has happened. You want to live in the present so that you won't need to worry about what could happen or what did happen. You need to live for today and by doing that I suggest you carry on spending time with your kids, going to work, keep socialsing with your friends and most important take care of you.
You just need to take a step back and gather your thoughts for you to realise that you will get through this and untill you get through this your going to carry on as normal as you did before so you can see this through to the end.
Just remember that your still going to be there for your husband but you need to look after urself two. All you can do is support him through this without being difficult or pushy as you know this is not what he wants. I'm sure he's ok right now and your the only one who knows when he isn't. Let him come round in his own time. Remember that your still his partner and still in his life. Don't let this split both of you apart.
I hope all goes well and if you need someone to talk to then you know that you always have got this place. In the mean time you could always go back to see the doctor if anything else is concerning you or try counselling if you haven't yet. You need to remember as well that your not on your own.
Keep up the good work your doing two x
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