Depression Understood Forums

Hi Everybody,

Just joined. I don’t know what I’m hoping to take away from this forum, but I need to talk to someone. My siblings all live many states away, and I really have no close friends I feel would listen.

I don't know where to start but here goes. I feel lost, hopeless, & overwhelmed. My wife & I have been married for almost 5 years, and she now wants to separate b/c she is tired of my constant negativity. I have tried to explain to her that I just feel down all the time, but she is tired of hearing it.

She says she feels like she’s been lied to & ripped off for the last 4.5 years because when we started seeing each other we had so many things in common that we enjoyed doing like going out to eat, going on adventures, cuddling up watching movies, etc. She said I had “bluebirds” on my shoulder back then, but they disappeared right after we got married.

Now it seems like all I do is get up in the morning, go to work, come home, eat, and go to bed. She has moved into our spare bedroom and barely talks to me. I’m in this rut/funk, and I don’t know what to do or where to start. This has now cost me the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I want to be “the old me” but I’m starting to think he is really gone or like my wife said, maybe this IS the real me.

Sorry for babbling, I just don’t know what to do.

The thing that worked for my wife and I was a visit to my doctor to get on SSRIs and some short term marriage counseling sessions to improve our communication. This was back in the 80s.

I was amazed that the SSRIs could change how I felt / looked at things.

I encourage you to go to your doctor and tell him whats going on. Get some guidance on how to get the blue birds back on your shoulder.

The bluebirds might have been there because you were in romantic love ... which doesn't last forever ... but committed love is even more beautiful, but you need to work on that commitment ... not just take it for granted.

Know this will work out for you, but you are going to have some tough times ahead of you. I'm not able to keep the faith that things will work out without some chemical help. My wife says that come the zombie apocalypse I'm her go to man. I've spent 30 years trying to make our time good while we wait ...