a bit of an intro

[sapphire]

Hi. Let's see. I have been dealing with depression for some years now. I have told my family about it, but everyone seems to be so involved with their own issues, that mine doesn't seem so important to them. I had hit rock-bottom, at least by my standards, (okay, probably by most) and the only thing that prevented me from suicide are my religious beliefs. Those are also what allowed me a way out from the worst of the depression.

I've tried therapy, and once I found someone I meshed well with, it seemed to work nicely and give me a way to at least express myself and vent my frustrations. But due to circumstances beyond my control, I had to stop seeing the therapist, and I haven't had the will to find a new one. Always a reason, usually time issues. I've also tried meds, but didn't find a combo that worked for me, so I guess I gave up. I don't suggest going it alone, it just seems to be where I'm at right now.

So...now, I'm dealing with a marriage to someone who has even more mental instability than I do, and I am having a very hard time dealing with it. He's on meds now, but the side effects are also wreaking havoc on our relationship. I married him because I needed someone to support me (emotionally), and I've ended up dealing with his issues the whole time, while I have commenced to drowning slowly. Who was once my best friend, has become a constant source of stress. I sometimes feel like I'm ungrateful, because I know others are going through worse issues than I, but my emotions, and what my mind comprehends are two different things. Many days and nights hiding my tears from my kids, my husband, trying not to wallow in my sadness. I really need therapy, hoping this site can at least be a way of release in the meantime.

[JonsDragonEyes]

Hey there Sapphire. It's nice to meet you. I'm sorry for all the hardships you've been through.

I hope with all my heart someday instead of spending your days and nights hiding your tears , that you cry tears of happiness instead.

Welcome to the site. It's a wonderful place to be and it really does help. Please Take care Always.