I think I need help

[Janmac62]

It's been a tough day today. I'm pretty much depressed all the time, but I've usually been able to get up and go about my day. Today, and I'm not sure why, I have just sat on the couch and watched tv all day. Fell asleep a few times. Didn't do laundry, didn't get dressed until noon, didn't do any housework, didn't shower, didn't do anything. My doctor has me on wellbutrin, but how do I tell her I think I'm worse? I'm afraid I'll start bawling as soon as I phone the doctor's office. Just not happy anymore, but today was horrible. How does everyone else handle tough days?

[Lostintime]

Hi janmac62

I do so know what you mean. It's not a case of "I don't want to" but rather "I simply can't". Then things start piling up around me, guilt and shame overwhelm me, distress comes a-calling and lately I've been reaching for the vodka, which makes things 1000 x worse. No solution there.

But, for a week now, I've been coming to this forum! I find it incredibly helpful, especially when distress sets in. I've also started light therapy, so if I'm too down to face the world, at least I'm sitting (in front of a light box) with some purpose. It's very early days but I have noticed a difference. Felt worse for the first two days, with headaches and jitters on top of the depression and low-level anxiety, but am, today, feeling hopeful for the first time since December last year. All I want is to be able to tackle things properly. And I can't do that when burning the toast makes me burst into sobs. I know any amount of meds or light boxes or CBT alone won't take it all away (there never is just any one cause or any one solution, in my opinion) but it may just tip the scales in my favour.

I hope your days get brighter. Don't beat yourself up about it. X