Depression Understood Forums

Hi,
I am in my early 30’s and I have depression, OCD, BPD, Trust issues, anxiety, I am a complusive thinker and have high adrenaline . I’ve been on meds and have seen professionals but my choices seem to lead me back to square 1 everytime. My family is chaotic and so are my relationships. I hate my job although I am very good at it. I’ve been feeling like this for too long. I don’t have many friends and none of which I can talk to without being judged or simply because they don’t know what to say. Same goes for my family except they are part of my problem so I can’t talk to them. My ex, now temporarily attempting another chance, is also a root of my problems. Basically I feel I have nothing left around me that can help....Not sure how to go about this but thought I can give this site a shot.

Hello Camaro,

Thanks for sharing your story.

You seem to have a lot going on and although you have identified some of the problems you are still keeping those things in your life. I know with family you can't just walk away from them, if you can't change the situation then you need to change. I don't know what your specific issues are but sometimes by changing your own thinking can help you resolve the problem. Again with your relationships, not quite sure what the problem is so it is hard to make suggestions but I will say that try to block out any negativity coming from others especially when you have so much going on right now. Just have to stop and get away from it all at times and have a clear think about what you want and what you want to do. You say you hate your job, have you thought about what you would like to do instead?

x

Thanks for the reply.
It is hard to run from family and I have changed my ways but that didn't help. Parents divorced when I was 5 and my brother was 2. Mom had another child with another mate which she is no longer with. My sister is 17 and full of issues and my brother is another story. Both my parents turn to me when there are problems with my siblings. My parents don't speak to each other. My mom always bombards me with my sisters problems but never takes any of my advice which leads me to exploding because she seaked me in the first place. My dad will ask about my brother who vanishes due to massive drug/alcohol use and my dad is stuck in the old mentality and doesn't understand today's society and problems. Relationship, well I've lost trust and everytime i want to talk about what is bothering me, I get yelled at and anger my spouse, leads to nowhere.... My job, I have no idea what I would rather be doing. I spend time alone thinking ALL the time. I've secluded myself where I don't want to see anyone, or do anything anymore. I have a lot of thinking time to spare and still haven't gotten anyywhere. I hate to leave my house. If I could I'd stay locked here forever. I have a dog and I sometimes am so down and don't want to see anyone so instead of walking him, I put him on the balcony to do his business. This is just a minor summary of the many everyday issues i deal with. I really need help