Dealing with loss from suicide

[TheLonelyOne89]

I have suffered with depression and anxiety, since I was 13. I am now, 24. My father and my boyfriend both committed suicide, back in 2012, and everything in my life has gone downhill, ever since. I can barely function, most days. I've lost hope and faith that it will ever get better. I don't have many friends and I don't feel comfortable talking to anyone in my family. My mother is an alcoholic, and that has completely destroyed our relationship. She used to be my rock, and now that rock is gone. I feel like I'm completely alone in this world, and it scares me to death. I wake up everyday, and want to go right back to sleep, because everything else is just too overwhelming. Honestly, coming to this site was kind of a last resort. I lost my health insurance and cannot afford to see a psychiatrist without it. I signed up for Medicaid about a month ago, but still have not received my card. I guess, I'm just curious to see if this site is as helpful as they say it is. Any suggestions or advice, from anyone, would be greatly appreciated.

[4EverMe]

Wow...To lose both your dad and boyfriend to suicide, and in the same year?! That's truly traumatic.

I'm very sorry for your losses. (although that's no help to you) Just want you to know that someone does care, and I'm pretty confident that others here will deeply care as well.

I wish I had the right advice for you. Praying for strength may help...
Also, try to hang in there until you get your Medicaid card. Medicaid is the insurance that I, myself, have. It enables you to see counselors, psychiatrists, pays for prescriptions, etc. I feel very blessed to have it, and that is how I'm able to get my depression meds.

There is hope, even when all seems black. Don't let it swallow you and absorb the life out of you. Walk toward anything that brings you life, love and hope.