Hi, diagnosed with GAD, treated for depression

[missheliumballoon]

The whole two steps forward, one step back routine is in play. I've been progressively doing better these past couple months, but not without moments of constricting fears and worries that leave me silently crying on the floor of my room. Although I've definitely come a ways since my major panic attack which had sent me literally running out of school through the back exit in a not-so-great state of mind to do a not-so-good thing, I still find myself dreading certain days and activities.

Right now, I can feel it getting bad, especially since school is coming back in and I'm not doing so well. I wish I had someone to ground me and help me with my studies, or I was allowed to be home schooled and learn without the eccentricities of the teens under one roof environment public school brings.

The thoughts get fast and I worry I'll get lost in the mix. Too many conflicting emotions, you know? Procrastination will lead to bad grades will lead to disappointment will lead to failure will lead to humiliation will lead to death before success-- Must be perfect or I will be bested by my peers and thus worthless. I don't know. I'm really stuck and I don't want to freak out again. (wish the medication I'm on could completely cure this!) Should I try seeing a therapist again?

I just worry that they don't care and I'll wind up scaring my mom by bringing up the whole thing and I'll never get anywhere and I'll fail school and destroy my future. agh. um, hi again. I'm new at this.

[fallen]

i thought i would say hi and sorry you are feeling low.
i like balloons they are very cheery .
balloons are just balloons they have one purpose, to soar into the sky and be free.
they do not worry about success, or being worthless.
they are free to go where ever they want !
like you.
take care

[CrazyLady17]

Hello,

Welcome.

So sorry you feel low.

Keep reaching out.

(((Hugs)))

[Ieris]

Hello Balloon,

Sorry to hear you feel like this, I think medication helps with suppressing and not curing as once you stop taking them all the problems may come flooding back and your problems remain. You may need to dig a little deeper to get to the root of it.

Which days and activities do you dread?
Do you know why you dread them?
How does it make you feel? Trapped, nervous, can't breathe etc?
Does this only happen at school?
Imagine a time you have felt like this, stop and look around at what things are bothering you.

Try to identify the trigger and that is one step forward.

You can go see a therapist, see what they have to say. No one knows if they can help or not and you have nothing to lose by going but gain some advice from a professional.

x

[CrazyLady17]

^^^ I agree.

[missheliumballoon]

thanks guys I'll try doing what Ieris suggested and see where it goes. and Fallen that was really sweet! I didn't even know you were referencing my name till the very end.

[CrazyLady17]

Welcome

Always here, PM me anytime!