Actually Stephan, I kind of like reading when I'm depressed, if the words are well composed (as yours are). I get angry and irritated (depressed or not) when I feel I have to work extra hard to read something because some one else didn't work very hard (depressed or not) to make a sentence clear.
You wrote:...withdrawn hopelessly and am trying to make friends and remember how to talk...
Sounds like your in the right place. I'm here also because I'm hopelessly withdrawn. The forum has been, in the last few months for me, a place of self discovery. I haven't really enjoyed all I've discovered, but I can't deny it has been important and useful.
So, you have aspirations of publishing? Most of the interviews of writers I have ever heard, describe the work as solitary and lonely. I can remember more than one child of a famous writer or composer describing there parent as having almost a secret other life. There is the father (could be mother) and family man. Then there is the writer who lives apart; locks them self in a closet, garret, apartment, bathroom,... all alone for hours, or days, or weeks or months.
And then there is the research linking Bipolar syndrome to creativity, invention, and productivity. Hope I'm not scaring you Stephan. I'm trying to say that emotional turmoil is part and parcel to insight and invention. So don't give up.
Your among friends here.
Go ahead and talk.
Frame
P.S. Stimulants are (it seems) the prevalent medical answer to ADHD. But they are also a slippery slope. Isolation and self medication can be tricky, so I hope you have some guidance.