Hello Everyone!

[Tallie]

Hello to Everyone out there.

I've just joined this community. I've spent the last half hour or so just crying alone in my room. I'm starting to wonder if I'm depressed. I'm not sure I remember what real genuine happiness really feels like.

I may post "my story"' in that forum at another date but I feel like maybe I don't even have a reason to be so sad. I wonder if I just bring it on myself and it's all my own fault that I feel this way. So many people have it so much worse and it feels selfish for me to even say I'm sad with hardly any reason for it. This makes it hard for me to talk to the few people I have in my life about it. I worry I will annoy them and they will just end up hating me.

So I guess I'm hoping this site might make me feel a bit better. I went to therapy once for 5 sessions but I don't feel like it really helped. I just want to be happy and feel like I have a purpose in this life and the people really do like having me around.

Thanks!

[Alastair]

Hi Tallie, depression can creep up on you without even noticing - very gradually. I understand about not being able to talk to the people close to you, even if you explain depression to them - they can't comprehend it - simply because they've never had depression.
I don't think a selfish person would get depressed, a selfish person wouldn't care about hurting other people and would continue to do that with absolutely no morals without a hint of guilt.

[Alastair]

Hi Tallie, depression can creep up on you without even noticing - very gradually. I understand about not being able to talk to the people close to you, even if you explain depression to them - they can't comprehend it - simply because they've never had depression.
I don't think a selfish person would get depressed, a selfish person wouldn't care about hurting other people and would continue to do that with absolutely no morals without a hint of guilt.

[Frame]

You have a very good point Alastair. I try to place most things on a spectrum, but I think your absolutely right. Conversely, I think most of the people that post here are more sensitive and have greater empathy than the norm. I think many, if not all of us, while struggling to get out of bed each day, are looking at the world from a unique and valuable perspective.

It's hard for me to find blame with guiltless thoughtless people (more than one of my family). They have their lives to live. I wouldn't wish my struggles upon them. I'm pleased that most of them are doing well. But I'd like to think my time on earth was worth more.

[Alastair]

You have a very good point Alastair. I try to place most things on a spectrum, but I think your absolutely right. Conversely, I think most of the people that post here are more sensitive and have greater empathy than the norm. I think many, if not all of us, while struggling to get out of bed each day, are looking at the world from a unique and valuable perspective.

It's hard for me to find blame with guiltless thoughtless people (more than one of my family). They have their lives to live. I wouldn't wish my struggles upon them. I'm pleased that most of them are doing well. But I'd like to think my time on earth was worth more.

Hi, I fully agree. I believe most of our self dislike attitude is due to compromising our own morals in some way or another. I think sometimes we get depressed by blaming ourselves for everything - when in fact another person helped cause the problem.

[Alastair]

You have a very good point Alastair. I try to place most things on a spectrum, but I think your absolutely right. Conversely, I think most of the people that post here are more sensitive and have greater empathy than the norm. I think many, if not all of us, while struggling to get out of bed each day, are looking at the world from a unique and valuable perspective.

It's hard for me to find blame with guiltless thoughtless people (more than one of my family). They have their lives to live. I wouldn't wish my struggles upon them. I'm pleased that most of them are doing well. But I'd like to think my time on earth was worth more.

Hi, I fully agree. I believe most of our self dislike attitude is due to compromising our own morals in some way or another. I think sometimes we get depressed by blaming ourselves for everything - when in fact another person helped cause the problem.

[Alaska1958]

Hello Tallie, welcome and I hope you can make some new friends here. I knowwwhenever I think of telling someone about my problems with depression I worry about how they will take it. A lot of people have very little experience with it and have trouble understanding how it effects some of us. Even here on the forum I find many of us interact with our own depression in significantly different ways.

I admire Frame's ability to motivate himself out of bed each day and struggle through it with a strong will and determination. A few weeks ago I was supposed to start a new job. The first several days went well, but then came days when I couldn't summon the will to make myself get up and go to work. The lady who hired me called me up and asked if I'd lost interest in the job. I didn't want to tell her the truth, but I also hate to lie, so I told her that while I'd spent decades being a reliable employee at whatever job I'd had, that I had come to a time when I just couldn't make myself get out of bed. She told me about her mother in law who had a problem with depression too.

I'm looking for another job now, but I worry. Will I be able to get back into the day to day discipline of going into work?