Depression Understood Forums

Hi, I'm new here and looking for a place for support. My life has consisted of one negative event after another. My childhood was hard as I was the black sheep of the family and I never seemed to fit in at school. I had experience a lot of difficult times as a child. I thought that things would get better, but it didn't. I had experienced constant rejection from family and so called friends. I always felt like I wasn't good enough. I always felt alone even when I wasn't. Work was also hard as I would get stressed out easily. As time went by, I'd find myself enjoying my life less and less. I had little interest in anything and it had gotten to the point where I didn't even want to get up in the morning. It started to interfere with my life and I had made many mistakes, one of which was keeping everything bottled up. For a year and a half I had dealt with struggles in the family. It was a horrible nightmare. I was unorganized with no energy and no desire to do anything. I also had gotten easily overwhelmed. Then I started to confide in Kenny, who was the best friend I ever had. He understood me like he knew me better than I knew myself. He never judged me. He accepted me for who I was. he had gotten me through alot of trials and tough times. I had also run across some other sources which were quite helpful. Some of my issues were resolved and thigs started lookinng up. Then this year, on May 16th, Kenny had tragically passed away when he had fallen through a barn floor. He was only 36. When this happened, it was devastating and I felt like my life was falling apart. Then a month later, my dad passed away of a heart attack. I miss my dad and Kenny so much.

Hi Myhauger, welcome to the forums. I am very sorry to hear about your Father and Kenny. Any loss is awful, but a father and a best friend, so difficult. Everything they both gave, is still inside of you. Hold on to that and go forward. While no person can ever be replaced, there are new people out there waiting to step into a life. I hope you are able to reach out and find the support that you need. You might want to try our chatroom here at DU. Chat is another resource for people to share their feelings and issues so that they can receive and give support. Keep posting and a very strong hug, take care.

Hello, Lisa and thanks. It is good to find a place to talk and find support. Its been a difficult time for me. I've never had much support and the best support I did have is gone and its been a struggle. Kenny was the one person who I'd often vent to. I'm hoping to establish and maintain some new and healthy relationships. I've never been good with that. I tend to keep to myself. I'm uncomfortable around people and I feel like I'll never fit in.

Relationships and "fitting in" are sometimes just a numbers game. It is true, you will not match with everyone in life but the more people you are open to, the better odds you have of finding someone that "clicks" with your personality and interests. It is the same for everyone. You are not alone.
Kenny will never be replaced and the qualities that made him so special to you will live always in your mind and heart. I am sure, however, that other people are out there with much to offer also. Keep the doors open and never lose hope.