New here

[LostCanuck]

I've gone in the chat a couple times, which I found less than supportive so I figured I'd try here.

I'm 26, single mom of a 6 year old boy. About 2 years ago I was diagnosed with depression, and recently have had my first panic attack. I am on 30mg of citalopram, and have prescription for 1mg ativan as needed. I have felt like this as long as I can remember. It's always there, even if I am feeling happy or having a good day, it can change at the drop of a hat. I just don't want to be alive anymore, but I don't want to kill myself either. I have suicide ideation I guess it's called...I won't go anywhere because of my son, but I really hate my life. Nothing ever goes right for me, I am screwed in so many ways, and just miserable. I don't see the point to keep trying when nothing good ever happens, or if it does, things immediately take another 2 steps back or so. I'm so alone and I am just tired of everything.

[hollyann]

Hi LostCanuck. I'm sorry you didn't find the support in the chatroom that you need. Sometimes it gets to moving fast and a lot of people need help. It's helpful to try to speak up more than once of just join in.

I'm sorry your introduction went so long with out a reply.

It seems you are going through so much. Have you told your doctor about the mood swings? Sometimes meds need adjusted/changed or aded to. Apparently if you are having these thoughts what you are on needs changed somehow so you an feel better. Meds aren't a cure all or to numb you but they should help you to cope better.

Hold on to your son. He needs his mom. And he needs his mom to get better. Single parenthood is hard but can be managed. As far as being alone I know it's not the same but you hve us now. We care.

hollyann