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New Here and kind of uncomfortable lol

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 1:29 am
by broken_hearted
Hey guys my name is broken_hearted,

I'm new here, don't really know how this works and don't really feel comfortable sharing my name yet. I've never been one to open up on forums or anything but seeing as how like nothing works I decided to give this a shot. I've been depressed since I was about 12 I wanna say maybe longer its hard to tell. I'm now 22 and have been on prozac and then effexor for a year. Recently got off both because I couldn't properly focus in school and I'm still on clonazepan for anxiety which I've been on for a year and a half.

Yeah don't really know what else to say. Nice to meet everyone.

Posted: Mon Sep 24, 2012 12:40 pm
by TackingIntoTheWind
Hi (((( broken_hearted )))), welcome to the forums! :)
Please don't worry about not knowing " how this works ", neither do I, I often think... :) And that more than sometimes goes for the world in general as well... :? :)
You don't have to share your name unless you feel comfortable doing so. ( I've always used a username, for me it feels easier to talk that way. Perhaps I need a way around that famous British " stiff upper-lip reserve " ? :roll: :wink: )
In my own experience I've found a lot of very supportive people on these forums, found many new and helpful insights and thoughts and a lot of useful hints on how to " manage " my own depression.
I hope that you, in your own time and your own way, will be able to do the same, feeling safe and comfortable in sharing as much, or as little, about yourself as you wish to, and find helpful.

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:21 pm
by broken_hearted
Thanks so much for the support *TackingIntoTheWind*
Yeah I don't really feel comfortable sharing my name yet...

But It is super nice to know that there is a group of people that feel similar as I do. I hope that in time I do find some helpful insights as you have in order to cope with my own depression and anxiety. I'm just sooo fed up with talking out loud to people I feel like they never GET it. you know? I look forward to reading more forums and talking to more people. :)

im somewhat uncomfortable also

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:32 pm
by stars7
I feel a little uneasy about letting my emotions out to strangers but I feel better.

Posted: Sun Oct 14, 2012 9:47 pm
by broken_hearted
yeah I'm getting there. Somehow its a little easier for me to talk online then it is in person which is something I really wanna work on. I just don't trust people and would rather stay anonymous. :/

Posted: Tue Oct 16, 2012 2:05 pm
by balcony
Hi Broken_hearted, and welcome to the forums. I think I saw your nickname in the chat room recently. If not, you might want to try chat as well. It is always nice to meet a new person, and I hope you find it easier over time to express your thoughts and feelings here. DU has a lot of lovely members and you are never alone here.
Keep posting and take care.

Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2012 11:55 am
by Ste
You cetainly are in the right place. Welcome to the first step to feeling good again :)

I just started here too.

Posted: Thu Oct 18, 2012 4:45 pm
by Nikkiw
I just started here too. I am 13 and I need some help. I think I have depression and have no one to talk to I once thought about killing myself but it didn't go any farther than just that. A thought. So yeah. I didn't know if u had any advice for me. Thnx btw I like ur profile pick :D

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 6:03 am
by broken_hearted
Just wanted to say, I felt that way a lot when I was in middle and high school that nobody liked me and I wish I could just kill myself and die. I don't know if I can offer any real advice except that no matter how much life seems to suck at that age, being a teenager and all with all your hormones changing and you hate feeling the way you feel and look it does get better. I don't know how but somehow I managed through. I used to cut myself for a short period of time which I don't really tell a lot of people but trust me don't start doing it if you haven't already. No matter how much it seems to make the hurt go away for a short period of time it really just makes you feel worse about yourself.

You just have to keep telling yourself it will get better. I found writing poetry and writing down my thoughts in a journal helped a lot back then and I used to read and hide myself in books a lot. I know at that age it seems to help a bit more if you take up a hobby. I did dance which helped me get through. I also played soccer and gymnastics for a short period of time. It just helps to get your angst out. It sucks believe me. I think being a teenager is one of the hardest stages in life in my opinion besides being in your 20's lol.

I'm in college now and I feel like the world is ending all the time and I don't know why but somehow its not as bad as middle and high school. Although sometimes I do feel like i'm back in high school with the same problems and feelings.

Its just different problems now I feel like. You are going to be okay though. Just keep talking about your problems and how you feel and write down your thoughts daily even when the world seems to end and you don't have anyone to talk to. Although I'm not one to talk because I'm tired of talking to people about all of my issues lol but sometimes you do just need someone there even if you don't really feel like talking.

Sorry for the long essay. It's like 6am here and I really can't sleep but I hope some of that helped. Thank you for the compliment on my profile pic. :)

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 8:29 am
by stillwaters
Hi Broken_hearted
Actually I thought the advice you gave was great. You had said you went off some of your meds so you could focus on school and I admire your strength in doing so. I would only suggest that you continue to journal your thoughts but also your times and moods to see if there are patterns to your down times. If there is, you can learn when best to take your clonazapen.
Please know that you are not alone and remember the advice you gave Nikkw, it does get better

Posted: Fri Oct 26, 2012 7:33 pm
by Nikkiw
thanks for listening. i drown the world out with books, but then i think about how awesome the characters lives are and they make me sad. but that just depends on the book. most of the time reading helps me though. i wish i would right down more about my life, and my problems but i always forget and never feel like writing. Have any advice for that? from what you've said i can relate to you a lot and we seem kinda the same. i told my mom about my idea that i have depression(because nobody knew because i don't have really good friends that i trust that much) and i cant talk in person about my feelings at all. i wish i could get better with that. so yeah she thinks im faking about the depression which i knew she would. so i even told her in the note to please not think that way. well that did no good. so if you have any advice now, well, you know. please meesage back when you can. thnx for listening <3[/code]