Depression Understood Forums

Hello, I'm 27 years old, white male, miserable most of the time. Started off as a very precocious child, very awkward, angry, unhappy, and ostracized. HAve grown into an extremely indecisive, uncertain, disengaged man, and despite all that, I was managing to lead some kind of an interesting life until the last couple of years. I'm a graduate student in a top school, working on an MA I have no interest in getting, with no sense of what on god's green earth I will ever use it for. You may understand first-hand what I mean when I say that I am in a perpetual daze, detached, disinterested, barely able to get out of bed in the morning, turning more and more frequently to booze. And I used to be such a health nut--another thing to add to my sense of self-betrayal and coming up short. I know this all sounds empty and emo; I have to imagine a lot of us are unhappy to recognize that even our suffering is cliched (though, yeah, that's probably missing the point).

The funny thing is that I don't even really feel the desire to change myself--perhaps the most insidious part of my depression. I have very little motivation to do anything, including my studies. I'm amazed I haven't been booted out of this program. I don't want to have to hit some kind of bottom just to be able to work up motivation to act, which is why I'm here hoping for advice and support from the rest of you. I'd be happy to continue to share and work through experiences with the rest of you. Thank you :0

Hi Repetition
Welcome to the Forums. Motivation is an issue for many people suffering with depression. It is so hard to find it inside of yourself to get up and do the things that you know need to be done. I always try breaking my tasks down into smaller tasks to keep from overwhelming myself. I look forward to hearing more from you. Take Care

Hey Repetition, welcome to the DU forums.

Hi Repetition. welcome

Hello, I'm very new here so I can't really say welcome or anything myself, but I do find myself relating to your problem with motivation and studies. I've got the same sort of thing going on for me right now. I thought I might as well at least say hello.

Thank you all for the welcoming responses. Sorry, drifted away from this forum, as I was feeling a bit upbeat for a month or so there...but here I am, back again.