Depression Understood Forums

Hello,

I tried using the chatrooms on the site and it was helpful to be able to discuss my problems with others. However, I still feel very alone with my depression and my problems. Whenever someone's feeling down, they always tell you, "Keep in mind that you are not alone. Keep in mind that you are not the only one." Well, it's hard to feel that way when everyone's response is, "Umm...I don't know how to help you out. I've never been in that situation."

I'm hoping maybe I'll encounter more luck with the forums. In a nutshell, I live with my girlfriend and her three kids. The kids are hers from a previous marriage. I have no kids of my own. It gets extremely difficult dealing with them, having no parenting experience. The kids' dad still sees them over the weekends, so it's not like he's out of the picture. But I feel like the kids are getting in the way of the romance between my g/f and I. I feel like the two of us get almost no one-on-one time, since he only sees them either Friday night into Saturday or Saturday night into Sunday.

Like I said, that sums everything up in a nutshell. I have a lot more issues, but to air all of them out would require me writing a novel. I just need a non-judgmental forum to discuss my issues.

It sucks, because I feel like people are constantly chastising me for not bringing them into my world. Yet when I do, I feel like I either scare people off or bore them to death. Sometimes, I feel like just throwing myself out a window. Guess my life is one big Catch-22.

Hi. Sorry to hear how difficult it is for you right now. Ya know, when you hook up with a single parent, it's a package deal. You become a ready made parent as well. It's a huge adjustment that you are thrown into. Basically, you need to decide if the relationship you have with her can be extended to include the children as well. If not, then some changes have to be made. Imagine how she's feeling right now. Torn between her children and her b/f. The children are gonna win every time. It's part of being a parent. The two of you can however work out some sort of a happy medium ground where you have like a date night just for the two of you in addition to the fridays the kids are with their father.

I was in exactly this same position, and you feel selfish for being irritated by it I'm guessing? Like I did.. but you can't help feeling that you just want to have the person to yourself, obviously you can't but that's how I felt. Resentment builds up and you find yourself getting more and more frustrated but don't say anything to your other half.. which in turn can cause issues as you don't want to turn around and say anything right? Well you don't have to say anything too hurtful or selfish, but you do need to change things as it only builds into extreme anger, try arranging for a babysitter once in a while or finding an activity for the kids like an after school club which can give you a few hours peace.. there are lots of things you can do to solve this, I did and it just took a little patience and inventiveness.