Hey, i'm new.

[Ak21730]

My names Amanda, i'm 20 years old. Don't really know why I joined but I just felt like talking about it really.
The past few winters i've been getting really down. It just seems to hit me our of nowhere, it's horrible. I just feel extremely sad the majority of the time, and I don't feel like doing anything, I just sleep and cry most of the day. At the worst times I hurt myself and have even tried overdosing a couple of times. I went to my university's counselor and she said it's more than likely SAD or something, and told me to go the doctor about it so I could get an actual diagnosis on it, but it took a lot for me to even speak to her never mind a doctor I see all the time, so I never ended up going.
But now, I'm getting emailed by uni saying they're concerned about my attendance, and that I need to give a 'documented' reason as to why i'm never in, what am I supposed to say? I really don't wanna talk to my lecturer about stuff like this, I feel pathetic and that they're just gonna think i'm attention seeking and lazy. What exactly are you even meant to say to your doctor, just come out with it and say you're depressed? I honestly wouldn't know how to go about it, i'm really shy!
Sorry about the morbid introduction, haha. Anybody else in a similar situation?

[Obayan]

Hi. I know the first time i ever spoke to a counselor i was terrified. So what i did was i found a nice quiet spot where i felt safe and i wrote it all down. I wrote down what i was feeling and why, what happened to me growing up, and what it was i wanted to see changed in my life now. Then i gave the doc what i wrote. It made it a lot easier talking about it too.

[Gemm50]

Hey Amanda
I was about your age when I was 1st diagnosed with 'repeating episodic depression' which was later updated to SAD. It can be a real struggle to deal with through the winters, especially in northern climates where there is more cold and less sunlight. One thing I was told to do when I lived in the north was get a sunlamp and use it daily for just 3-5 minutes 2-3xs a day, and at least 1 of those to aim it at the back of my knees. Since I have moved to the south mine hasn't been nearly as bad, until the last couple of years when my general health has gotten to where it is difficult for me to get outside even on the best of days. I would really encourage you to talk to your doctor about this. It can be easily treated, most of the time, if we are willing to be open with those who can help us. I know how difficult that can be sometimes. I'm in a spot myself right now where I can't really see a professional to help me through (wrote some in my intro post).

I truly hope you can find the courage you need to seek professional help. You are too young to have something like this steal your life from you. This is especially important if it is causing you to miss classes. A good education is a precious thing that can never be taken away from you.
HUGS to you!!

[Obayan]

Great idea Gemm50! I'm sure that will help a lot. I've heard several speak of doing such things as the heat lamp treatments. Thank you for sharing this.