DylanS - Intro (possible trigger)

[DylanS]

I've been fairly depressed most of my life and spent most of it trying to fix it. The first time I thought about suicide was when I was 11 and I distinctly remember thinking, "If I don't kill myself now, will I be happy in 10 years when I'm all grown up?" I remember specifically because, at that age, 21 seemed to be the pinnacle of adulthood.

I'm now 47 and I've tried everything under the sun (CBT, DBT, EBT, EMDR, medication, meditation, religion, 12 step programs, etc.).

This morning I woke up and the thought just floated through: "I think I'm about done". I can't keep straining and working, but I can't live with the way I/my life is. I don't think I want to die. I think I'm just too tired to keep doing this and not sure what else there is to do at this point.

[hollyann]

Hi DylanS welcome to the forum. It has to be very frustrating when nothing seems to work, but you are here. You joined this forum. That tells me that you haven't given up. Please feel free to post here, or join the chatroom. There's a lot of people that have tried things and got discouraged when they havent work. Sooner or later something will.

hollyann