Introduction
Posted: Sat Jan 22, 2011 10:01 pm
Hello everyone.
I am 20 going 21 this year. I've been battling with myself whether I suffered from depression or not for a very long time. I used to think that I didn't have depression, I just feel sad more often than others.
It was just last year when I realised, my sadness is getting more critical. I get upset easily, I cry easily, I am moody all the time and I can't make any friends. I lose interest in things that I used to like and I am tired all the time. I attribute my tiredness to juggling school and work but it's actually an excuse. Due to this tiredness, I skipped school. End up, I quit school.
This action of leaving school impacted me the most. Since I only worked weekends, my weekdays were all empty. My small circle of friends either are studying or working so I was alone most of the time. When I logged on to social websites (facebook), all I see are pictures of my friends/classmates happy faces. It just makes me feel so lousy about myself. They have a life and what am I doing here?? Why did I give up school?? Why did I submit to lethargy and skip school? Why didn't I put in more efforts in making friends??
I blamed myself for this outcome. If I weren't so weak, I wouldn't end up like this. If only I have the strength & courage to persevere.
I tried schooling, again, by enrolling into a private school. I attended the 1st day of school and I couldn't even make it for the rest of the week because I felt so "tired". I decide to quit this school too, partly because there was problems with my bank loan application, but mainly because it was apparent I just didn't have the "heart" to study.
This just can't go on anymore... I don't know what to do... It had became clear I'm suffering from depression. So I'm just gonna accept this fact and try to work my life out.
Thank you for hearing me out.
I am 20 going 21 this year. I've been battling with myself whether I suffered from depression or not for a very long time. I used to think that I didn't have depression, I just feel sad more often than others.
It was just last year when I realised, my sadness is getting more critical. I get upset easily, I cry easily, I am moody all the time and I can't make any friends. I lose interest in things that I used to like and I am tired all the time. I attribute my tiredness to juggling school and work but it's actually an excuse. Due to this tiredness, I skipped school. End up, I quit school.
This action of leaving school impacted me the most. Since I only worked weekends, my weekdays were all empty. My small circle of friends either are studying or working so I was alone most of the time. When I logged on to social websites (facebook), all I see are pictures of my friends/classmates happy faces. It just makes me feel so lousy about myself. They have a life and what am I doing here?? Why did I give up school?? Why did I submit to lethargy and skip school? Why didn't I put in more efforts in making friends??
I blamed myself for this outcome. If I weren't so weak, I wouldn't end up like this. If only I have the strength & courage to persevere.
I tried schooling, again, by enrolling into a private school. I attended the 1st day of school and I couldn't even make it for the rest of the week because I felt so "tired". I decide to quit this school too, partly because there was problems with my bank loan application, but mainly because it was apparent I just didn't have the "heart" to study.
This just can't go on anymore... I don't know what to do... It had became clear I'm suffering from depression. So I'm just gonna accept this fact and try to work my life out.
Thank you for hearing me out.