Hi

[ongoingstrugle]

Not entirly sure were to start. Iv never done something like this before. I find it really diffucult to fully open up to people and tell them how im really feeling. I try talking to my friends, and whilst they do help me alot their are things i just cant say to them. Im scared of how they will react if they fully knew what i thought, and i guess i kind of feal ashamed for the way i feal because its not like my quality of life is bad, which makes me feal guilty for not being happy. I think i will find it easier talking to people i cant see so thank you

I first admitted to someone I thought I had depression this time last year. It was my first year of uni and one of my best friends has depression, and he one day mentioned that he thought i had it. We talked and i decided to go to the doctor. I got diagnosed with depression and given fuloxotine to take, i also tried counceling. I did not liek councling, i thought i would be given advice on what to do by a councellor but i didnt, they jsut wanted me to talk, which was ok at first, but i want help! I could only afford to take the pills for a few months, and after coming off them and just plummeting back down into a pit of hopelessness i dont want to go back on them for the false happiness they give. I want to be honestly happy but i dont know how any more.

Im scared if i keep going on the way i do im going to push away all the people i car about. I keep f****** up my life, by spending money on drink to get out my head for night. I keep running from my problems, but its not working for me any more. Everything is jsut pileing up and getting worse.

So yer this is the begining of my story. I hope to meet some people who have been through this and can give me advice on how to help myself, because i just dont know what to do anymore

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Hello ongoingstrugle,

This is a great place to talk with people that deal with issues as yours. The support is great and lots of understanding.

Is there a free clinic where perhaps you could assistance with getting your medication? None of us list taking meds, but if they help to keep some normal in your life, aren't they worth it?

There is also a chat room connected with this site, perhaps go in and chat with people there as well. All this does help, we don't feel alone in the battles we face.

Hope to see you post again,

Warmsould

[ongoingstrugle]

I don't think there is a free clinic in sheffield unfortunatly. They did bring me some normality which is why im tempted to go back on them, but i dont know if i could handle coming off them again and feeling like im back at square 1. I tired to go on the chat room yeterday but it wouldnt work

[Monty]

Glad that you found us ongoingstruggle. I suppose the name that you have chosen, pretty well says it for how things are going for you.

It is true that you have found a place where no one can see you.
For me, I also found it easier to share when it wasn't with someone I knew. A long time ago I was told that your therapist can't be your friend, and your friends can be your therapists.

Unfortunately I found that was true, the hard way.

I have a friend who has trouble getting the money for meds. Her doctor gives out free samples to her, to help out. Don't know if they do that where you come from.

It was good to read the first part of your story. Looking forward to learning more about you.