Depression Understood Forums

Hello, everyone. I'm 45 and have battled depression since college. I've tried every possible med and therapy--and every combo in between--and it has all failed eventually.

Here is a question I have asked of priests, scholars and trusted friends...but I have yet to hear a satisfactory answer:

If we all have a purpose on this earth, what if our purpose is to die to save others? What if one's death allows others to live--whether a soldier throwing themselves on a grenade, or someone donating their organs after they have lost the will to live? Don't both actions have the same end result? If so, why is one seen as heroic and the other as cowardly?

Sincere apologies if this is an inappropriate post, but I'm desperate for an answer (specifically one that doesn't include "Because God wants you to live")...

My sincerest wish is that nobody else ever has to inhabit the world where I exist.

--Shinedown

When a soldier throwing himself on a granade happens, it's in a wartime situation. He isn't doing it to die. He's doing it to save others. The heroics don't come from the death, it comes from the life he lead and the actions he took.

When a person commits suicide, they are taking the easy way out. Giving up on themselves and on life's many possibilities. Who knows what may happen? The purpose of the life itself is lost and tossed away. No heroism in giving up.

(((( shinedown )))), you don't ask easy questions do you?
For whatever it may be worth, I don't think that anybody's purpose is simply to die. As (((( Obayan )))) says, when a soldier throws himself on a grenade, his goal isn't to achieve death, ( The end of his own life. ), his goal is, in fact, to achieve life, ( To save the lives of his comrades. )
My feeling would be that meaning in life comes from cherishing life, not seeking death, achieving something to make the world a better, more healing place, not simply ending a life, and thereby eliminating all that life might have been and achieved, for that person him/herself and others.
Or, to take a different approach:
There is no way that you can be certain that your life does NOT have a purpose,
If this is the case, then, logically, there is at least a possibility that your life DOES have a purpose, even if that purpose is not presently known to you or anyone else,
Therefore if you preserve your life, then don't you have at least some chance of finding out what that purpose is? And, in the process enriching your life and that of others, in ways that you couldn't, presently, even imagine? However, if you don't preserve your life how can you ever learn what it's purpose might have been?
Also, you are a unique and irreplacable individual. What if your purpose in life could only be achieved by you? Perhaps only you, with your unique mix of strengths and weaknesses can achieve what you are capable of achieving?
I'm hoping that you'll stick around to find your way to better times! ( And, to be bored by many more posts from me! )

Unfortunately, I have often asked that question myself.

Take care