havnt realy talked about it before

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frosty
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:37 pm
Location: ireland

havnt realy talked about it before

Postby frosty » Tue Jan 11, 2011 8:08 pm

Hi everyone...im sorry in advance for the very poor spelling but i need to get some things off my chest

Well im 18 years old soon to be 19
and for the majority of my life i have been depressed or down.I have never realy talked about my depression to anyone until early this year when to me the world just became to hard.Im trying to come to grips with my problems and try to figure out why or how it happins to me but it just dosnt make sense.Out of all of my friends I would consider myself as a loner type of person who stays clear of meeting new people or will stay home when everyone goes out clubbing or drinking.But deep down its like i want to be out there having fun with them aswell.Iv tried to cheer myself up by going out with them on occasion saying maybe Il change and have fun and finaly smile and be happy like them but when i am out i just want to be alone but when i am alone i want to be with other people and i dont understand why.When i am in work people will say im the happeist person they have ever met and how lively i am and how much fun i am to be around but deep down i feel ...horrible and alone...sometimes when i get realy depressed i drink but that just makes me feel worse there has been times were i have come so far as to do harm to myself but i just brake down...at night time i do feel scared because i want to live life like people i see around me but then i feel like theres no hope for me and its horrible.I dont know what to do.I have been to the docters about how i feel and he wanted to send me to a phyceatric ward?(cant spell sorry)but i was afraid so i never went.There is so many differnt feelings in my head at the moment and i would love to just put it down as hormones or some kind of biological thing but i just cant figure out how feel.At the moment it feels like i should just be alone and thats how its ment to be for me...which makes me realy down .
i just want to feel happy its the one feeling i cant rember


thanks for reading this and im sorry if its all jumbled or messed up ...im just writing how i feel
=[ damn i have another 9 hour shift in 8 hours hurray =[

Obayan
Posts: 4516
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:51 am
Location: oklahoma
Contact:

Postby Obayan » Wed Jan 12, 2011 8:44 am

That's called disasociation and isolation. It's devestating. Once it starts, it's hard to stop. You need to speak to a doc hon. If it's hard talking, you can write it all down like you did here and give that to them. It will open up a lot of doors to communication.

frosty
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:37 pm
Location: ireland

Postby frosty » Wed Jan 12, 2011 6:02 pm

thank you for the comment it realy means alot.
=] its just getting worse these days

Obayan
Posts: 4516
Joined: Sat Jan 30, 2010 4:51 am
Location: oklahoma
Contact:

Postby Obayan » Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:03 pm

Sweetie, it will get worse until you do something to stop it now. You have to fight. And to win you need to use the tools out there available to you. And there are so many tools to arm yourself with. Talk to a doc. Get armed for the battle. Because it's worth winning.

frosty
Posts: 4
Joined: Tue Jan 11, 2011 7:37 pm
Location: ireland

Postby frosty » Wed Jan 12, 2011 7:11 pm

I could lie and say il go and talk to people in person but i know i wont do it.Today was one of the worst days i have had in a very very long time 9 hours of hell in work finding out some horrible information i think this is as far as il get to ever talking to anyone properly about this.I just wish i could go covince myself to go get help im just so sick of this crap

Monty
Posts: 830
Joined: Wed Jan 14, 2009 3:44 pm
Location: Canada

Postby Monty » Thu Jan 20, 2011 5:04 pm

Hi Frosty,

Come here and share some of your thoughts with us.

Maybe we can help boost your self-esteem some and you might feel more comfortable with "the outside world".

One of the good things I find about being part of an on-line group, is that you can write anytime. It doesn't have to fit into someone else's schedule.

You are safe here.

bellz
Posts: 7
Joined: Fri Feb 25, 2011 3:04 am

Postby bellz » Fri Feb 25, 2011 4:22 am

new here to, but what I can say is you have taken the right first step. I did this very same thing when I found out I had cancer. I found an online support because I couldn't talk to anyone else. Docs all talk medical stuff, and family and friends didn't get it.
Stay here and let these people help you. You will learn alot about your condition, what might or might not help you. What things are out there that could or that won't.
Stay strong and keep coming back. I love your name "Frosty" makes me think of the snowman, remember he melts, and the litttle girl cries, but then he comes back. Everytime he puts on the hat, its' Happy Birthday. You can come back to frosty.

Echo13
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2011 2:00 am
Location: California

Postby Echo13 » Sat Mar 12, 2011 2:29 am

Hi...I just started today and your story is too familiar. I am 17 and I understand. All I can hope for is that after sharing here, I too can tell someone close to me. Thank you for sharing and I am here if you need a friend- echo13

cathyb61
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 11:32 pm

Frosty

Postby cathyb61 » Tue Mar 15, 2011 12:47 am

It's great you took the time to find this board. I hope you keep posting. I like Obayan's advice to you. This is a battle worth fighting.
I'm new here too and I am grateful I found this site. Who but those that also live with depression will understand how you're feeling.
Take care of yourself Frosty.


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