Amy Sweetness~
I can't remember your age, and general living situation, but I missed you terribly today. I hope you start thinking about a different job, it is distressing to hear about you being mistreated at work.
We're here, in case you need to go BA-WAAAAAAA!!!!!!!
BIG hug,
a5
HI...
Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Sunlily92, Astrid
Hi everyone,
I usually try to go on-line in the morning (unless I make the mistake of going on too late at night, I can get pretty carried away and that make it a short night for me.
I can't remember if I told of the incident that I had at one of our local emergency rooms about a week and a half ago. As a result of that visit I had a stress test (like I need to be tested for stress) for my heart.
Surpisingly they found that I had one, and that it seems to be working ok. Again my blood pressure is very low, but I tested out ok on what they did this morning.
I had to be at admitting at about 8:30 this am, and didn't get a chance to sit down at the computer much until now.
To put it bluntly, I feel like crap. They have no idea what is wrong with me, but know that something isn't right. I have a pdoc appointment next week (I have been waiting for 3 month, oh the joy of medicare) so I hope that I am feeling physically better by then, so I can prepare for what I am going to say to him.
It was funny my last visit with him. He usually takes the time that is needed for you to talk about what is going on in your life. The last time I went he said that his wife had gone on some kind of doctor rating site, and that he did well except for the fact that he kept his patients waiting.
That was the first thing that he mentioned as soon as I got in the door so I felt quite pressured. I knew that I had only 15 minutes. We have medicare in the province that I live in so you pretty well have to take the pdoc that is available.
He is a good one so I hope to keep with him. He is the one that gave me the ECT in the fall of 2007.
Went on longer than I intended with my business. Sorry Bemused, this is your thread.
Hope that things are going well for you Bemused. I think that it is great that you are going out and fighting for yourself.
Going to AA was a huge step, and you should give yourself a good pat on the back for that (from what I have read of this thread you have already gotten a few of them already). I am glad that you met up with that woman, and you didn't have to be the only female in a group of 20 men.
Keep us posted.
I usually try to go on-line in the morning (unless I make the mistake of going on too late at night, I can get pretty carried away and that make it a short night for me.
I can't remember if I told of the incident that I had at one of our local emergency rooms about a week and a half ago. As a result of that visit I had a stress test (like I need to be tested for stress) for my heart.
Surpisingly they found that I had one, and that it seems to be working ok. Again my blood pressure is very low, but I tested out ok on what they did this morning.
I had to be at admitting at about 8:30 this am, and didn't get a chance to sit down at the computer much until now.
To put it bluntly, I feel like crap. They have no idea what is wrong with me, but know that something isn't right. I have a pdoc appointment next week (I have been waiting for 3 month, oh the joy of medicare) so I hope that I am feeling physically better by then, so I can prepare for what I am going to say to him.
It was funny my last visit with him. He usually takes the time that is needed for you to talk about what is going on in your life. The last time I went he said that his wife had gone on some kind of doctor rating site, and that he did well except for the fact that he kept his patients waiting.
That was the first thing that he mentioned as soon as I got in the door so I felt quite pressured. I knew that I had only 15 minutes. We have medicare in the province that I live in so you pretty well have to take the pdoc that is available.
He is a good one so I hope to keep with him. He is the one that gave me the ECT in the fall of 2007.
Went on longer than I intended with my business. Sorry Bemused, this is your thread.
Hope that things are going well for you Bemused. I think that it is great that you are going out and fighting for yourself.
Going to AA was a huge step, and you should give yourself a good pat on the back for that (from what I have read of this thread you have already gotten a few of them already). I am glad that you met up with that woman, and you didn't have to be the only female in a group of 20 men.
Keep us posted.
Hey Everyone! Back from the pits of social work, I think... how nice to come on here and feel wanted, a5 - thank you!!! And thanks for the comments about Dakota - I posted more about her on another thread... I am 33 and live in New Jersey... just me and my dog. My boyfriend and I will hopefully marry soon, so my living situation will, without a doubt, improve by then! What about you? Tell us more - please!!
Monty, girl - I'm sorry you are so ill! Health care in this country (USA) is such a chore, isn't it? And yes, medicare is tough. Please keep us informed about your health, ok? Stay strong and know that you have lots of people here on this forum pulling for you, ok?
Bemused... how is the AA progressing? Your new friend from there? You are in our thoughts...
Monty, girl - I'm sorry you are so ill! Health care in this country (USA) is such a chore, isn't it? And yes, medicare is tough. Please keep us informed about your health, ok? Stay strong and know that you have lots of people here on this forum pulling for you, ok?
Bemused... how is the AA progressing? Your new friend from there? You are in our thoughts...
glad to see you amy
hi amy ,hope your well ,and feeling happy,ish ,ive stopped felling angry now ,and not to bad ,its been very hot in the uk today ,i must tell you
aurelia is getting so mixed up with the threads ,and is having trouble getting around here ,ive been passing emails with her ,we,ll have to see if shes around later ,hope you see this soon ,ive put two pictures of the aircraft lightening xn728 in the pets gallery ,have a look later ,,,,KEN
aurelia is getting so mixed up with the threads ,and is having trouble getting around here ,ive been passing emails with her ,we,ll have to see if shes around later ,hope you see this soon ,ive put two pictures of the aircraft lightening xn728 in the pets gallery ,have a look later ,,,,KEN
Amy,
Actually I am from Canada, where we have universal medicare.
The problem is that there just aren't enough resources for us to call on when we are will, and when you do need (especially mental health services) long waits are involved.
I am really not sure what to do now, because it seems like the depression is hitting me, more and more often, and it is deeper and deeper.
Will post my whole story on a new thread.
Thanks for caring.
Actually I am from Canada, where we have universal medicare.
The problem is that there just aren't enough resources for us to call on when we are will, and when you do need (especially mental health services) long waits are involved.
I am really not sure what to do now, because it seems like the depression is hitting me, more and more often, and it is deeper and deeper.
Will post my whole story on a new thread.
Thanks for caring.
Oh Monty
In my confused dash to find certain letters and new posts last week, I missed this one of yours. I am sooo sad fot you to have to have gone to the ER. What caused you to go there? Was it a fit of panic? Suicidal depression?
But I'm glad you turned out ok, and it is evident because of that hilarious line about them finding a heart, and that it worked. Very funny.
I just had a somewhat alarming incident. At one point I said that not only was my memory bad from the drugs I have to take, but that my mother, and my father's mother both died of Alzheimers. That means both sets of DNA are gunning for my memory.
So Brad just asked me what it was that I had planned with our neighbor this weekend, and --- I had no idea. I could not remember one word. One thing was that we changed it several times, but I wasn't drinking and hadn't had any Xanax - both serve to wipe my memory clean - but I couldn't remember what we had finally ended up with, at all.
Now I am not only depressed because I woke up depressed, but distressed as well. I am watching myself turn into my parents. I got all the bad body problems from my father, and the Alzheimers, if that's what it is, from my mother. I also got her depression, anxiety, dread, irrationality, and a whole stack of other neuroses from her too. At least I got a bit of humor and some wisdom too.
Please stay feeling better. I don't want to have to drive up there and straighten you out.
Love and a big hug
a5
In my confused dash to find certain letters and new posts last week, I missed this one of yours. I am sooo sad fot you to have to have gone to the ER. What caused you to go there? Was it a fit of panic? Suicidal depression?
But I'm glad you turned out ok, and it is evident because of that hilarious line about them finding a heart, and that it worked. Very funny.
I just had a somewhat alarming incident. At one point I said that not only was my memory bad from the drugs I have to take, but that my mother, and my father's mother both died of Alzheimers. That means both sets of DNA are gunning for my memory.
So Brad just asked me what it was that I had planned with our neighbor this weekend, and --- I had no idea. I could not remember one word. One thing was that we changed it several times, but I wasn't drinking and hadn't had any Xanax - both serve to wipe my memory clean - but I couldn't remember what we had finally ended up with, at all.
Now I am not only depressed because I woke up depressed, but distressed as well. I am watching myself turn into my parents. I got all the bad body problems from my father, and the Alzheimers, if that's what it is, from my mother. I also got her depression, anxiety, dread, irrationality, and a whole stack of other neuroses from her too. At least I got a bit of humor and some wisdom too.
Please stay feeling better. I don't want to have to drive up there and straighten you out.
Love and a big hug
a5
((((a5 and Monty)))) My new friends! I'm sorry you are both suffering... the only advice I could possibly give would be to continue to enjoy as much of life as you can. Don't dwell on what could happen, a5... You are a bright, funny, and amazing woman - don't ever doubt that.
And Monty girl - how are you? Any better?? I do hope so... you are a sensitive, kind and smart lady!!!
Don't change, either one of you! You are both the BEST
And Monty girl - how are you? Any better?? I do hope so... you are a sensitive, kind and smart lady!!!
Don't change, either one of you! You are both the BEST
Bemused,
Hope that things are continuing to go well with you. I am interested to hear how your weekend went.
You took several big steps last week (particularly impressed with the AA one, I remember when I went to my first depression support group I must have been shaking in my boots) that took a lot of courage, and hope that things kept getting better.
Looking forward to hearing from you sometime soon.
In answer to your question a5. A couple of weeks ago I was sick in the night and had terrible chills twice. It took me over an hour to stop shaking. After the second spell I called the doctor. That was also when I started having problems breathing.
He told me to go to emergency right away at one of our local hospitals(I think he figured I might have the flu). I went, registered,told them what was wrong and then sat.
Got there about 11:15. At 1:15 they told me they still didn't have an exam room available, but that they would take my vitals to be all prepared for when one was available.
I really wasn't feeling too well, and felt like I was going to pass out.
It turned out that when they took my blood pressure that it was dangerously low, as was my oxygen level. After all that time just sitting in the waiting room I sure got service then, and fast.
They put me right in a bed and had a team of people working on me. Attached monitors, taking blood, giving me oxygen. I was there alone and actually became quite scared.
They thought that I had a heard attack (hence the tests that I had last week to make sure that all was ok). I spent the afternoon there, with the machine taking my blood pressure every 15 minutes.
I was sent home 6 hours later, after repeating the blood test to be sure that I hadn't had a heart attack.
I have had difficulties like this before (I even came in by ambulance one night several years ago, because of heart problems) and have been to specialists, but they can't figure out why all this stuff is happening. It makes me very apprehensive because it keeps happening, and with obvious physical symptoms, it isn't just all in my head.
There was no refuting the fact that my bp was very low, as was my oxygen levels.
Each time this happens I get less and less likely to go to the hospital, because nothing can be done.
Anyway, that is the end of my long story.
Sorry for butting in Bemused.
Hope that things are continuing to go well with you. I am interested to hear how your weekend went.
You took several big steps last week (particularly impressed with the AA one, I remember when I went to my first depression support group I must have been shaking in my boots) that took a lot of courage, and hope that things kept getting better.
Looking forward to hearing from you sometime soon.
In answer to your question a5. A couple of weeks ago I was sick in the night and had terrible chills twice. It took me over an hour to stop shaking. After the second spell I called the doctor. That was also when I started having problems breathing.
He told me to go to emergency right away at one of our local hospitals(I think he figured I might have the flu). I went, registered,told them what was wrong and then sat.
Got there about 11:15. At 1:15 they told me they still didn't have an exam room available, but that they would take my vitals to be all prepared for when one was available.
I really wasn't feeling too well, and felt like I was going to pass out.
It turned out that when they took my blood pressure that it was dangerously low, as was my oxygen level. After all that time just sitting in the waiting room I sure got service then, and fast.
They put me right in a bed and had a team of people working on me. Attached monitors, taking blood, giving me oxygen. I was there alone and actually became quite scared.
They thought that I had a heard attack (hence the tests that I had last week to make sure that all was ok). I spent the afternoon there, with the machine taking my blood pressure every 15 minutes.
I was sent home 6 hours later, after repeating the blood test to be sure that I hadn't had a heart attack.
I have had difficulties like this before (I even came in by ambulance one night several years ago, because of heart problems) and have been to specialists, but they can't figure out why all this stuff is happening. It makes me very apprehensive because it keeps happening, and with obvious physical symptoms, it isn't just all in my head.
There was no refuting the fact that my bp was very low, as was my oxygen levels.
Each time this happens I get less and less likely to go to the hospital, because nothing can be done.
Anyway, that is the end of my long story.
Sorry for butting in Bemused.
Wow Monty~
I missed this letter in my confusing search for others.
That low bp, are you on any drugs now? I once mixed Effexor with Straterra and had the same thing happen. I was on my way to work and felt like I was going to faint, so I stopped in at my doctor's and my bp was really low and they thought maybe I was a little dehydrated so they gave me two or three units of saline. This was an HMO, here in the US it is a ridiculous system where there are a bunch of doctors in one office, the appointments are 15 minutes long, unless they can get you out in 5, and sharing the space makes it easier for the doctors to pay their malpractice insurance. They don't get paid the nine digit salary they believe they are worthy of, and thus all of them walk around with big chips on their shoulders; they hate their jobs, they hate their patients, and they hate each other. The insurance for a couple like me and Brad is around 900.00 a month. But your copay is 5 bucks, and almost all the other stuff they do is covered. If your place of employment pays half of it, it's a good thing. I got all the bunions on both my feet removed for 50.00 a foot. Without insurance it would've been 3000.00 each.
Now we are on a state insurance for people like us who are basically destitute, but it's only 120.00 each for us and they cover a LOT. They sure don't advertise it though; my sister in law found it by accident. She certainly got a gold star that day.
So I guess because they get paid so little up there there is a shortage of doctors? Is that the idea? What about driving over the border to see a doctor in the US? Just like we drive across the border up there to get meds.
God, I hope you can find out what caused that. Was it hot and you were dehydrated? Just plain water won't do it, you need electrolytes too. Sodium and magnesium. They make salt tablets too.
Anyway, good luck! My sympathy.
a5
I missed this letter in my confusing search for others.
That low bp, are you on any drugs now? I once mixed Effexor with Straterra and had the same thing happen. I was on my way to work and felt like I was going to faint, so I stopped in at my doctor's and my bp was really low and they thought maybe I was a little dehydrated so they gave me two or three units of saline. This was an HMO, here in the US it is a ridiculous system where there are a bunch of doctors in one office, the appointments are 15 minutes long, unless they can get you out in 5, and sharing the space makes it easier for the doctors to pay their malpractice insurance. They don't get paid the nine digit salary they believe they are worthy of, and thus all of them walk around with big chips on their shoulders; they hate their jobs, they hate their patients, and they hate each other. The insurance for a couple like me and Brad is around 900.00 a month. But your copay is 5 bucks, and almost all the other stuff they do is covered. If your place of employment pays half of it, it's a good thing. I got all the bunions on both my feet removed for 50.00 a foot. Without insurance it would've been 3000.00 each.
Now we are on a state insurance for people like us who are basically destitute, but it's only 120.00 each for us and they cover a LOT. They sure don't advertise it though; my sister in law found it by accident. She certainly got a gold star that day.
So I guess because they get paid so little up there there is a shortage of doctors? Is that the idea? What about driving over the border to see a doctor in the US? Just like we drive across the border up there to get meds.
God, I hope you can find out what caused that. Was it hot and you were dehydrated? Just plain water won't do it, you need electrolytes too. Sodium and magnesium. They make salt tablets too.
Anyway, good luck! My sympathy.
a5
-
BemusedAngel
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 7:36 am
- Location: Ontario
-
BemusedAngel
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 7:36 am
- Location: Ontario
-
BemusedAngel
- Posts: 9
- Joined: Mon May 18, 2009 7:36 am
- Location: Ontario
were going.. lol
its a hard weekend.. I don't know why.. but it is.. I feel so very very alone.. every time I hear a song, it's one he wanted for our wedding, and now he doesnt want me.. I know i have to go on.. and I know I can.. but damn it hurts so much right now.. I am all alone, I don't want to bug people..
How long will this go on? I want it to end, so I don't think about him. I realize how annoying he is from seeing him again, but he dumped me and left me with everything to get done.. He complained that I promised to go to the gym every day, and I missed some days.. but he promised to be faithful, and he wasnt,,, right in front of me..
its a hard weekend.. I don't know why.. but it is.. I feel so very very alone.. every time I hear a song, it's one he wanted for our wedding, and now he doesnt want me.. I know i have to go on.. and I know I can.. but damn it hurts so much right now.. I am all alone, I don't want to bug people..
How long will this go on? I want it to end, so I don't think about him. I realize how annoying he is from seeing him again, but he dumped me and left me with everything to get done.. He complained that I promised to go to the gym every day, and I missed some days.. but he promised to be faithful, and he wasnt,,, right in front of me..
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