HI...

[BemusedAngel]

I just really don't know how to continue.. I am drinking too much, and have no one to go to..some people have a life.. I don't.. I just want it to be done..

[aim]

Let me just say, first of all, A and Monty, I am very very humbled by what you both wrote about me - thank you. It touched my heart more than you know, and I truly appreciate that.

Bemused, I don't know if this will help or not, but I truly believe that sometimes things have to completely fall apart in order for them to completely fall into place again. I don't really know why that happens sometimes, but maybe it is so that when things start to go well again, we can truly appreciate it, and know how strong we really are for getting through all of the bad stuff.

Did you see the movie, "Baby Boom?" She inherits a child, quits her big important job, and moves to the country, where everything goes wrong. By the end of the movie? She is happy and back on top again.

Anyway... hang in there, Bemused, ok? Things tend to go wrong at the same time, but then they go right again as well...

[Monty]

Bemused,

Sounds like there are a lot of things that are runing through your head, almost in an endless loop.

For a long time I was alone, so I experienced that empty feeling, of just not having someone to come home to, or to tell about my day. I was so scared of having people not like me, that I wouldn't share the bad things that were, or are going on in my life. Was afraid that they would leave me.


Betrayal by a loved one, who you thought was goingto be there for the rest of your life. Plus the loneliness of not having someone to come home to, or share your day with, is a tough pill to takes.

If it helps you to sit down and post to us, just what is going on in your life, don't worry about us running away.
We are all in this for the long haul. We'll be there for you.

[BemusedAngel]

Monty, you have no idea or maybe you do, of how much it means to read everyone's replies here. It seems like you guys really do understand, and that makes things better, even if only for a little while at a time. The warmth that I can feel is so very touching, and I really do thank you all.

I am starting to take a few steps today. I have a workshop to go to, doing research on the job market and stuff like that. I finally got some ambition to start going through the house, so I can sell it. And I'm going to AA for a meeting tonight. I need to get control over my life again

[Monty]

Bemused,

It seems like everyone is so friendly nad caring here, to me too. I have been here a relatively short period of time (though you can tell that I have a lot to say, if you look at the number of posts that I have written) and all have give me a immeasurable amount of support.

Hearing things on the phone, of having sometime tell you encouraging things is a great thing to have, in person.

I find that I like to have the written stuff there too, that way when things aren't going I can go and look back, and figure that maybe I am not such a bad person afterall. That has been really drummed into me over the years, enough that a lot of time I believe it.

I am so pleased that you are taking those steps today, that will improve your quality of life (and you deserve a good one).

If you are anything like me, even if the chips are down, I feel so much better if I feel like I am doing things that are pro-active.

Proud of you.

[aim]

I second that proud of you, Bemused! Going to AA is a HUGE step for you, and it'w absolutely wonderful that you are taking it. Stay strong and the folks at AA will support you and help catch you when you fall... do you have a sponsor?

Being pro-active when you are down is one of the hardest things to do, Bemused, so it's a very very good sign that you are doing so, as Monty said. You life will go on, Bemused, and it will get better. Keep moving forward and you will begin to see things fall into place. All of those horrible and negative things can be left in the past, and you have a wide and bright future to look to. Never stop believing in yourself...

[BemusedAngel]

I did it.. I went to AA last night, and was a little uncomfortable at first, but that mostly passed. A lovely lady went with me, she called almost at meeting time, but turned around, she was on her way home, and came with me. I am so glad she did! We were the only 2 women there, and about 20 men! I would have been more than a little nervous, for sure, by myself. I am going back next week, and she and I will meet for coffee one of these days as well, before that.

I feel so much more in control of things now. I'm making some steps toward completion of things I have to do, and even though they are small steps, they are getting accomplished.

Thanks to all for the encouragement. I wish everyone a blessed day today, and take care of yourselves... Will keep you posted...

[xn728]

what good news im so pleased you took this step ,you sound so happy and overflowing ,i hope everyone sees this soon ,im proud of you ,once you step through the curtain of fear ,the views not that bad in the window is it ,brilliant news ,im smiling and i dont do that very often ,thankyou ,for giving me something ,,,,,,,,,xn728 KEN

[Aurelia5]

Bemused~

WOW! You did the really hard part - getting out the door. Getting up, getting ready to go out, and getting out the door are the hardest part. I can almost always talk myself out of going somewhere I should go. I admire you that you did it.

Keep on rollin' . . .

a5

[xn728]

hi AURELIA ive been on the new thread were are you KEN

[Aurelia5]

Ken-
I can't have my own place on here, so I'm just all over. I explained it, but I can't remember where. Need pen and paper to keep track.

a5

[xn728]

ive started a new thread in (your story ) live or die ,see if you can find that ...KEN dont worry i will always find you ,any trouble,my e,mail is at the bottom of my post ,or i will private message you ,dont get stressed KEN

[Aurelia5]

Ken~
I'll go find you in your story. Monty hasn't written today. Hope she is alright. Maybe just burned out. My arm was sore this morning from typing yesterday - I have a bad case of bursitis. Did you see the letter to Monty listing my ailments? It's amazing so many things can go so wrong and I'm only 53.

Monty~ Oh you hoo!
I miss yoo!
Where are yoo?

No, seriously, you don't have to answer if you're not up for it today. I probably have to not write all day tomorrow just to let my shoulder stop hurting.

a5

[aim]

Bemused - be so proud of yourself!! I think one of the great things about AA is that not only do you get the support you need, but it's also social and you get to become friends with people. Please do keep us posted, ok? Good on you!!!

Hello all friends... been so busy and stressed at work lately - I hate it. Good to see you all still around and posting - miss you all!!

[xn728]

dont go to far away KEN