I need help from someone who had been or is still depressed.

[tanmich814]

I am a 39 y/o female. I am engaged and I have a 10 year old son. I have suffered from bouts of anxiety and depression for over 20 years. I have been experiencing this one for about a year, since my dad died. The past month had been getting steadily worse. There are very few days the I even get out of bed. I would rather sleep all day than deal with the struggles that face me. I should also mention that I am on day 6 of quitting smoking. I felt like maybe if I could accomplish control over that...I could take control back over my brain and my life. I read several articles that smoking triggers depression esp. In women . I need to talk to someone who has been there. People that haven't do not really understand. I also have panic and anxiety attacks. Please someone...reach put to me and I will reach back.
Tanmich814

[escapee]

ya know honestly i am in the same boat with ya....this current round with this isnt helping me in anyway shape or form. what makes it worse i am betting you are also thinking the same things i am... i know how to fix these things that are depressing me but i can not get out of this enough to even try.... i sleep bout 14 hours a day (mainly hours that people are up, out and about so i dont have to deal with them or thier problems because mine to me are worse.) a few years back i lost my dad which i thought i lost my mind.... then i lost mom...then my wife decided that her exboyfriend was good for her and my son...took him and left blaming me for our marriage's failure.... now i am 38 was recently told about being diagnosed manic depressive when i was 13...i was never told about this till lately... i have been struggling to support myself and my children for over 20 years now due to the bouts with this and i have yet to win...i really dont know what to do anymore...so i feel for ya trust me i do ... i hope you can pull through this and i am very sorry to hear about your dad...that pain does subside a little...my heart goes out for ya...

[tanmich814]

Wow. It sounds like you have been through a lot. My mom hasn't passed away but met someone within 3 months of my dad dying and they are planning on getting married. It would help if I thought anything nice of him other than he makes her feel good about herself. My depression episodes started when I was 26 Ans lost my brother to a hearr attack. He was 33 y /o. Then a horrible marriage..very verbally abusive man. Then a
2 year divorce aand custody battle. I got from under his control but my son still has to endure it because court systems don't really care. What makes it worse with my dad dying is that I took care of him for the last 2 years or his life and took over his bookkeeping and tax business. Not that I was anywhere prepared so I am flying blind and figuring everything out the hard way. Suppose to be in online school but have let that fall by the wayside too. Gotta get started again or I will not be able to pass the IRS exam come Jan 2012. Sorry to go on so much about myself but just giving you a background
What work do you do? Are you on any meds? Do you have any close friends and family that are aware of what you are going through? I am very sorry to hear about your hard times. Maybe we can help each other. I actually did get up at 10:30 today and am about to go do some work. I work from home so that helps a little.

Tanmich814

[escapee]

well yeah i have been on about every antidepressant on the market....they work about the same for me...not hardly at all....the best they do is help me when i am on the upside keep grounded...but the downswing they dont help or even slow it down....the last job was a technician for berkley...they wanted me to switch to 12 hour days and all .... and then it happened again.and for the last couple three i think weeks i been sitting here trying to dig my head out again. some days are better than others and the others arent near what they should be ya know....yeah my sister and a couple close friends.... other than that whe ni am on the good side no one could tell what is going on with me...and i wont tell them...all i know is that when this all starts i for a while can hide it frm the world and when it is bad enough i cant i crawl into my shell and hide till its done with me...that looking back is a range from a month to 9 months at a time....it really is bothering me... and yeah im in that same boat with ya hun...