Hi...

[Rachael]

Hi, I'm 43 and have been suffering from depression for quite a while now. I also have panic attacks and flashbacks. I had an childhood of violence and verbal abuse, which has left me with very low self-esteem over the years.. I'm married, but quite distant from my husband now. No-one knows about my past or how I feel.. I feel so alone and I'm hoping that maybe I can find some friendly help and guidance here...

[hollyann]

Hi Rachel, I think you are very brave for sharing with us here. Welcome to the forum. I'm sorry you went through what you did. You are not alone. Have you tried to build up your self esteem? I know things like this can make you feel alone, but you are in good company here.

holly

[Rachael]

Hi holly, I've never had enough confidence in me to build up any self-esteem... I have always been a very withdrawn person, I had to be when I was a child, and when I had my children I kind of 'hid' behind them, it was easier to do that while they were growing up... But they are all grown up now and living their own lives (although 2 are still at home).. I feel very lost, this year particularly. I'm quite shy, so I'm not good at talking to people and I'm frightened of rejection.... I have nothing to hide behind now, it's just me. The flashbacks are causing me to sleep very badly... and the panic attacks are scary